This is a very experimental story. I've shopped it around to some close friends and I've gotten mixed reviews. Two love it, and two think the comedic breaks make it a bumpy unfocused mess. Sooooo... I'll leave this here for now. If anyone gets a chance, please let me know if the style works, or if it would be better served cleaned up and made a little more serious and straight forward.


The other experimental note with this story is that I have never worked with this many characters. There are 14 minor characters, and 5 main characters. Writing may not be the best place to have so many characters. I think with a visual medium its easier to juggle this many since different looks are self-evident and you don't need to slow the story with more textual introductions. The narrator is a bit 'entrenched' in the story and the view point is third person, but I thought it might be interesting to have later 'episodes' follow some of the other people besides Jake.




Hoiku no Fuben


By: CS Fox



EP 1: The New Girls



“Cursed? ...CURSED?! No no no no no no... I.. I didn't do anything wrong!” Jake pleaded.


A very angry looking creature of water and strategically placed leaves stood glaring at him. “This happens to be a sacred spring...” she said. “MY sacred spring...”


Jake nervously rubbed at the back of his head.“...And I was just taking a walk by it and... uh...”


“Peed in my face,” the spirit frowned.


“I didn't really expect a pool of water to be," Jake tried to sober up. "To be... be... ... ... you.”


There was quiet for a moment. Jake had been going through a bit of a rough week, and although he was a little drunk tonight, he didn't think he was drunk enough to imagine something as ridiculous as a water nymph or mountain spring goddess... or whatever the hell she was. (She did however have a great rack of water boobies).


“Can't I just say I'm sorry?” he asked, not sure it was his fault for having to pee so bad.


The being shook its head, little drops of water flew about as her liquid hair shuffled with her.


“For desecration of my home... and me. I hereby curse you."


Jake wasn't exactly sure what being cursed meant, but he knew it probably wasn't good. “Sorry's not enough?”


The being of water crossed its arms and seemed to look even less happy with him.


“You're not really sorry, but you will be. Since you can't seem to hold your water and felt need to pollute me with it, you are hereby cursed to suffer the fate of the loveless corrupter.”


Jake staggered back as if he'd been stabbed. “The loveless corrupter? What.. what is that?!” He said with dread at the vile sound of the name.


The being smiled. “It's you... and you'll find out what it means in time." She began to dissolve, "Defile my spring again and I'll turn you into a lily pad.”


With that... the water lost its form and splashed back into the pool... and Jake was left if what he'd seen was real... or if he'd just had an alcohol induced breakdown. He staggered away as quickly as he could, trying to make it home in his blurry state.


Usually Jake wasn't one to drink heavily... but lately he'd been a bit stressed about the start of the new semester, and it just sort of happened that he got invited out by an old friend he hadn't seen in years and got into a drinking competition. Usually he didn't go out on a weeknight, since he had class and work after it, but given the company and circumstances, he needed to get out... and it was just unfortunate that he was completely outmatched by his drinking partner.

Somehow... Jake made it home to his crazy house. The ground floor was locally known as 'Autumn Leaves Daycare'. As odd as his house was, Jake liked it. When he was little, his mom was unable to find suitable daycare for him ... and it had turned into a career for her when the neighbors admitted they needed a place for their kids as well. His house had a permanent immaturity to it, the ground floor a daycare center, the upper floor the living space for himself and his mom.


It took a few minutes, but Jake managed to drag his body up to his room and into his bed.


FUN FACTS:


This story does not take place in Japan. This story takes place anywhere that you'd like it to take place (except Japan). Maybe it's in sunny San Diego, picturesque Martha's Vineyard, or the people's republic of Madeupbullshitistan. ...You may be wondering why it's important to note that this story is NOT set in Japan. ... well, if this story were set in Japan, it would be an Anime. The themes, title, characters, and even core concepts are very anime-ish and cliché, which is bad... and you'd probably still read it any way. Poor you.


STORY RETURNS!


In the morning, the following events happened in the following order... It's more fun to sing it than read it.


♫ Jake woke up. Jake threw up. Jake fell down the stairs.


Jake bumped his head. Jake didn't make his bed. Jake's Mom saw him off with 'Take care.'


(The author makes no claims at wit.)


Anyways... Jake got his ass to the commencement ceremony for his second year of college at NPCC (North Point Community College, where the N stands for Nowledge). It took two bus transfers, but he made it through hangover city and found that a seat had been saved for him in the auditorium.


"You're late," Jordan said as she took her bag out of the seat next to her and put it under her chair.


"Did I miss the sorting hat again?" Jake asked blearily sitting down.


No sooner had Jake spoken then Jordan wrinkled her nose. "Did you even try to cover up last night? You smell like a brewery."


"You're the one who dragged me.mmmphpm..."


Jordan clamped her hand on Jake's mouth. He was still a little tipsy and didn't have much of an inside voice this morning. She made a shushing motion with her hand and pointed for him to look at the stage.


"Sorry if you're weak on the sauce. You should be grateful I took you out last night. It's been four years since I've seen you."


Jake grumbled but stayed quiet as Jordan eased her hand away from his mouth and the ceremonies began. It only took about three minutes before he was out cold. Head lulled back, mouth wide open for bank shots.


Jordan pinched him. "Wake the hell up, what's wrong with you?"


"You know what's wrong with me... blah... was drinking with you... didn't sleep... had the weirdest dream ever."


Jordan rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just keep the snoring to a minimum, don't make me regret meeting up with you again."


Jake nodded, and crossed his arms, trying to pay attention to one professor droning on about academia. It was proving pretty hard, and he settled for letting his attention wander to the girl who sat looking serious next to him.


He and Jordan had grown up together. When she was younger, she had been one of the first kids at his mom's daycare. They were best buds, even if she was usually a little stronger than him and liked to play jokes... she was a year younger and beginning her first year of college. Still... four years... it was such a long time ago that she went to the all girl's school. She looked good. Long brown hair, athletic figure...


"Will you stop staring at me?" she asked with a slight blush and glare.


"Sorry, I'll go back to sleep."


Jordan frowned and punched his shoulder. Jake sighed and wished the stupid ceremony would just end so class would start and he could get out of here for the day. It was Wednesday, which was usually the busy day at daycare.


STORY ON HOLD WHILE WE FAST FORWARD... MEANWHILE... PRO-TIP:


Some jobs are gender biased. It's not so much a prejudice against the opposite gender, it's just a social comfort sometimes to assume that a certain position is going to be filled by a certain sex... for instance, when you hear 'Nurse' or 'Stewardess' what do you think of? With that in mind, most parents don't feel entirely comfortable with a young man working at a daycare center. Nothing against Jake, he's amazing with kids, but there's always that wild thing that adults assume young men possess.


Also, on a world note: There are furries and half-humans in this world. Why? Just-be-fucking-cause. Don't ask questions, shut up and read. Why are there apricots in your world? Riddle me that.


STORY RETURNS (IMAGINE A BAT SYMBOL APPROACHING AND A SWIRLING BACKGROUND DANANANANANAAAAHHHH).


After a long day of BS classes and introductions, Jake made his way home. He was a little tired, and he'd gotten over his hang over (Sing the wake up song again for lunch, but minus the mom bit and add a college bathroom stall).


The daycare had a white picket fence around the yard. And today it kept in three children of different ages, all running around. Recognizing Jake, they rushed the gate, waving and smiling.


"HIIIIIiiiiii Jake!" called one husky girl.


"Heya Roxy, you being a good girl today?" Jake asked as he let himself in. The husky was around seven or eight.


"Nope!" she said with a tail wag.


Another sandy haired boy was quick to hug Jake's leg.


"And that must be Curt," Jake said looking over his shoulder to see the smiling toddler attaching himself like a jogging weight. "How's it going pal?" Curt just raised a thumbs up, he rarely spoke. The third kid, Marvin, just smiled.


Jake walked back towards his house, or at least tried too. It was kind of like a goose and three goslings forming a moving pack around him, each trying to vie for his attention and tell him about their day.


"And we found a toad in the backyard!" "Curt used a marker on my shirt..." *Thumbs up* "I soooo didn't dig up the flower bed... again..."


The last comment caused Jake to pause and turn to look at Roxy with a bemused smile. "Again?? Roxy..."


Roxy blushed and tried to look innocent. "What? I didn't. I'm just... letting yah know for when the new girls ask you about it."


Jake raised an eyebrow. "New girls?"


Marvin, a stalky nine-year-old black boy nodded and smiled broadly. He was following along with the group and holding a baseball and glove, looking at Jake hopefully. "Evelyn and Chiyo. Seem nice, and real pretty."


"Oh right... new employees.” Jake nodded, “I think I remember mom saying something about that. I should probably go meet them."


The group moved inside, squeezing through the door, and Jake did his best to get the more 'playful' of the group to remove their shoes. Roxy had a habit of tracking mud everywhere, and if Marvin didn't leave his baseball at the door, something would break quick.


"I'm home mom!" Jake called.


The house was divided somewhat evenly with one side being the ankle biters, and the other being the children of all other ages on up to pre-teen. The back areas had the snack center (the family kitchen being upstairs), the nap room, changing room and bathrooms (yes plural, one bathroom does not work for upwards of 12 potty trainers... trust). Jake new that at this time of afternoon it was usually snack time.


"Hey Mom, hey Janelle," Jake said as he came into the snack room. His mom was sitting in a rocking chair with a baby in her arms feeding it a bottle. She smiled warmly as her son came in.


"How was the first day of the new semester?"


"Boooooorrrrinnnnggg...." Jake said dramatically, causing his little gang to giggle.


Janelle was at the counter fixing a tray of sliced apples. She had been an employee for almost ten years, and had been around to watch Jake grow up, more a sister then co-worker. She was a vixen, and her peach colored tail always had a sway in it.


"Second year of college..." Janelle laughed. "Just yesterday I was getting your juice box," she added smiling over her shoulder.


Jake blushed, but tried not to let the sisterly teasing get to him. "Heard there's two new girls."


"Oh yes," Jake's mom nodded. "With you going back to school, it was about time we took on extra help. Evelyn was just in here helping me feed our two infants, she should be in the nap room now. Why don't you go introduce yourself?"


"Chiyo's the other one," Janelle laughed. "She's under the test today... last I saw, she was out back with the Gleeson twins."


Jake grinned. "I'll go check on her first I think..."


The gaggle of children and Jake made their way to the front door and got shoes before heading out and around the house. The backyard had the same white fence and stretched for about half a football field. Jake found what he could only guess was the new girl. The Gleeson twins were a nearly identical boy girl combo of blonde haired six-year-olds. They had limitless energy and were accomplished climbers... and so was Chiyo apparently.


Roxy and Marvin giggled and ran ahead to climb the Mulberry Tree that grew in one corner of the yard. Curt maintained his post on Jake's leg as they all came to the tree.


"Hullo up there," Jake called brushing aside a branch or two.


"Hey Jake!" came the synchronized voice of the twins.


A girl suddenly hung down in front of him, supported on a branch by her legs. "Nyah!" she meowed. Jake jumped back a foot in surprise. "Hiiii boss-lady's son, I'm Chiyo!" she added with an upside down wave.


"Umm... Hi?" Jake said returning the wave. He was a little surprised to find she was a yellow haired cat girl... half humans weren't common.


"Come on Chiyo! You promised!" said the twins.


"Did I?! Nyah! Guess I have too do it then!"


"What'd she promise?" Marvin asked as he stood on one of the lower parts of the tree.


"She was going to do a penny drop."


"Yup yup! Watch dis!" the cat girl said, suddenly swinging herself a little. With a little bit of momentum, she unhooked her legs and began to move away from Jake as her body righted itself... and caught on a branch...


(Cats make funny noises when surprised) Chiyo disgracefully face planted in the soft grass.


"Are you okay?!" Jake said running to her side. Roxy and Marvin joined him.


Chiyo made a disappointed mrrl with her ears down. "I messed up the landing..."


The toddler on Jake's leg, Curt, managed to say "Ouch," before hiding himself again. The twins exchanged a handful of coins before high-fiving each other in the tree.


Chiyo sat up and spit out a little dirt. "Blah... sooo should have made that... I'll beat you at round two Mr. Tree!"


"Woah woah, let's not encourage dangerous stunts," Jake said, glaring a little at the Gleeson twins. They both sat smiling with figurative halos floating above their heads. Chiyo shook out her hair and feline ears before standing up and smiling as if nothing had happened.


"It's all right, I shall challenge the tree later... but for now, I have something else I wanted to do. I think it's the best way to get to know someone."


Jake looked at her a bit confused. She was smiling mischievously, a little sharp tooth poking out of the corner of her mouth as she did. She was wearing a long sleeve shirt, with a short t-shirt over it and a pair of khaki shorts she'd already gotten grass stains on... and there was that feline tail twitching around from that otherwise human body... she looked like she wanted to shake hands but...


"TAG!" Chiyo laughed, practically shoving Jake off his feet. The gathered children laughed and quickly abandoned the tree, running in all directions like a star.


"What? Oh no you did not!" Jake laughed before running after the nearest body.


POINT OF INTEREST:


Tag, also known as it, tips, dobby, chasey, tig, tick and many other names, is a fun way to confuse anyone who's becoming too serious. Personally, this author likes to begin the game somewhere crowded, and with a pillow... bonus points for sneak attacks.


Second note of interest: In Japan (where this story is NOT based) diapers are known as omutsu. Children sometimes potty train at the late age of four or five, which is often due to over protective mothers. ...Jake didn't potty train fully till he was four and wet the bed till he was ten. His mom loves to embarrass him with stories about it.


TAG YOUR IT!


Thanks in no part to the diligently dirty efforts of the Gleeson twins, and a slight potty emergency with Curt, the epic match of tag ended. The kids were more than ready for a snack and sporting a few new grass stains. Chiyo and Jake herded everyone to the snack room.


"Survive the twins?" Janelle asked Chiyo ruefully as she put out a tray of celery, peanut butter and raisins (you can make a boat with them!).


Chiyo nodded excitedly. "Nyah! Of course hahah!" The twins hugged each side of her, happy for once to find someone indestructible enough for them to play with... at least for now.


“Well that's good. Just remember you two,” Janelle said looking sternly at the twins. “Go easy on the new help.”


The twins gulped at Janelle. She was the only caretaker they feared. As mentioned previously, the twins were nearly identical, the only difference being their hair. JC kept her hair long, while JR kept his short. To make them even more confusing, their parents had named them both Jamie, and the only way to tell their names apart was with their middle names. Jamie-Chris, and Jamie-Ross... JC & JR, the Gleeson twins.


“Where's mom?” Jake asked as he helped Roxy and Marvin to chairs.


“She's with Evelyn in the nap room. It's about changing time.”


“Which reminds me...” Jake said scooping up Curt. Curt struggled a little, reaching his arms for the snack on the table. “It'll still be there when we get back. Right now you need a change... BAD.”


“Syyyrrrrsssly,” Roxy said wrinkling her snout. Being a husky, her nose was rather acute.


Curt blushed and quickly tried to hide himself on Jake's shoulder.


“It's all right Curt, we'll just get you cleaned up, kay buddy?”


Curt nodded, but still blushed a little. Potty training and him hadn't really gotten along. He was still convinced about the awful truths of the potty monster (courtesy the JC & JR).


“Be back in a moment... hands and paws off Curt's snack,” Jake said teasingly as he left. It was just a short walk through the hallway. He carried Curt to the younger side of the house, through the nap room and into the changing room.


Jake's mom was there and she offered a wave. “Uh oh... Someone need a change?” she asked as she was already changing an infant otter. She looked at Curt. “Thanks for bringing my son in... poor thing took years to potty train and I'm sure he's in desperate need of a change.”


Curt giggled and nodded, pointing at Jake.


“Mommm....” Jake frowned.


“Just teasing dear,” she laughed. She finished taping up the little fur and picked him up. “I'll trade you Curt for Jeffrey.”


Jake walked over and sat Curt on the changing table, and took the baby otter from his mom. Jeffrey was one of two infants at the daycare, the other being an 18-month-old named Crystal. She slept close to 16 hours a day and was probably doing just that at the moment. In total, there were 11 kids at the daycare, and with the two new girls, there were five day care attendants.


“Mrs. Sarah? I'm having a few problems with the toddlers,” said a somewhat nervous girl as she came into the changing room, practically dragged by an excitable toddler husky (Roxey's lil' bro, Chance).


“Lemme guess. Swallowed a lego?”


Evelyn blushed and nodded. “Before I could get it away from him.”


“Again?” Jake laughed. The toddler looked up at Jake with tail wagging. “I hope it was one of the small ones Chance.”


Chance looked confused. “Jus a fruit snaak.”


“Don't worry Evelyn. As odd as it sounds, Chance has done this a few times before. His body can... pass... legos. Give it a day, he'll be right as rain.”


“Wha..? Really?”


Jake's mom nodded. “Yup... just gotta be careful with Chance. He likes to chew on stuff, and unfortunately the smaller pieces of legos end up getting swallowed.”


Evelyn looked perplexed, but seemed to relax a bit at the information.


“Oh, Evelyn, I'd like to you to meet my long time employee and son, Jake. He graduated to our preschool class last week.”


“MOM!”


“Sorry honey, you're an easy mark.”


“Nice to meet you,” Evelyn said bowing slightly to Jake with a blush.


She was cute. She had long hair the color of a crow's wing. It was tied loosely in a pony tail. She also wore square glasses and as she bowed forward, her glasses fell down her nose and her ponytail fell past her shoulder. She quickly straightened herself again, trying to bring her hair under control and push her glasses up at the same time.


“Nice to meet you too,” Jake said laughing a little.


DID YOU KNOW?!


The work day (Ref: 'Ye ol' bread winnin) is the period of time that an individual spends at paid occupational labor. Many countries regulate the 'work week' by law, such as stipulating minimum daily rest periods, annual holidays and a maximum number of working hours per week. Some Anthropologists argue that early hunter-gatherer societies enjoyed more leisure time than is permitted by complex modern societies... for instance, one camp of Kung Bushmen was estimated to work two-and-a-half days per week, at around six hours a day. Lucky punks.


Typically daycare functions as a place for parents to dump kids while they go to 'the work day'. Most of the morning and early afternoon it's just Sarah (Jake's Mom) and Janelle, who are fully capable of handling the two toddlers and two infants that aren't old enough for school yet. After pre-school and elementary school lets out, and after college classes; Evelyn, Chiyo and Jake clock in to help with Roxy, Marvin, JC, JR, Curt, William (currently out with a cold), and Samantha (who only comes Tuesday's and Thursday's). Full house...


NOW YOU KNOW... AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE.


“See nyah tomorrow!” Chiyo purred as she waved off JC & JR. The twins naturally gravitated toward their same sex parent and with everyone holding hands they waved good bye to the new cat-girl at Autumn Leave's daycare.


“Have fun you're first day?” Janelle asked with an approving smile.


“This is the best job ever!" she said enthusiastically.


Most of the parents came roughly between 1700-1900 every day. The twins, Roxy and Chance, the infants and toddlers had already been picked up. Jake was in the yard throwing a baseball around with Marvin. Right on time, the two of them saw Marvin's father coming down the street.


Catching a slider, Marvin grinned seeing his father. He made like he was going to throw the ball again, but instead started running for the gate. Jake wasn't sure what he was doing at first, but hearing the laugh and seeing the race developing, he took chase. Losing by only a few short feet.


"What do I get for beating yah to the gate?" Marvin asked catching his breath.


"You drank the fizzy lifting soda -- You get nothing. Good day sir."


Marvin looked really confused. "Huh?"


Marvin's dad laughed and Jake shook his head. "Sorry Marvin, few years before your time I think."


"You're weird man," Marvin grinned. "Real weird."


"See yah tomorrow?" Jake asked. Marvin nodded and they did a high five up high and then down low... cause they're cool like that. Marvin's dad waved to everyone in the yard before walking Marvin home with him.


One of the last to get picked up was Curt. He had spent the remainder of the afternoon getting to know Evelyn. As his mom's car pulled up, he was riding on her hip happily resting his head on her natural pillows (Who says you can't be a playa at 3?).


"You're mom's here Curt, you ready to go?"


Curt offered a sleepy thumbs up, not bothering to try and move from his comfy position. Janelle was standing with Sarah on the front porch and she shook her head at him, knowing better. Curt offered a sly grin and winked.


When the daycare was emptied, there was a general clean up and everyone said goodbye for the day before meeting again tomorrow at normal work hours.


RANDOM FACTOID:


In Japanese animes (Which this story in no way resembles, at least not intentionally) there is a staple scene in which all the primary female characters gather together to get into a hot springs bath. Usually there is a montage of side-boobs and at least one friendly competition of 'my tits are sooo bigger than yours' which can only be determined by pressing lovely funbags closely together and seeing which spills over the other. ...yah... stick with this story and you just might read something like that. *wink wink*


I DUB THEE PERVERTED


Now you probably forgot...


But later that night... far deep in his dreams... Jake was once again reminded, of who he sullied downstream.


A curse most foul... was placed on his head... and sooner then he'd like, a few someone's would wake in wet beds.


(Yah... author makes no claims at being good at rhymes either).


Cue the flashy dance scene for the female characters during the credits.
















Hoiku no Fuben

By: CS Fox


EP 2: The Wrath of Jordan




“You lost it!?!?” Jordan screamed, grabbing Jake by the collar of his shirt.


Jake tried to shrug innocently. “The notes were in my bag... and .... someone must have gone through it...” he forced a laugh. In his head, Jake already had 3 suspects... either the twins being malicious, or Roxy got nosey.


Jordan began shaking Jake by the collar. “My notes! We have a test this Friday. THAT'S THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!!! ... I... WANT... MY... NOTES!!!”


Jake's head bobbled around as he struggled to get himself released. “And I appreciate that you let me borrow them. I promise I'll get them back tonight.”


(If this were a gangster movie, Jordan would have fired two rounds in Jake's thigh about now)


Jordan sighed. “You'd better! C'mon Jake, I trusted you!” She released his collar and swung her arm around his neck, bringing him into a classic noogie.


“Ow! Hey! I said I was sorry... I'll get the notes tonight. You can walk home with me if you want and we'll search together.”


Jordan smirked. “I just might... where you living now?”


Jake managed to get his head out from under her arm and fussed with his hair. “Haven't moved. Same house all my life.”


Jordan's eyes lit up. “The daycare! You still live at the daycare?!”


Jake dusted himself off and nodded. “My mom started with us, and it turned into a good business.”


“Wow, that's... kind of cool,” she said grinning and starting to walk to class.


It was already two weeks into the first semester and Jordan had been so busy with college, she hadn't had a chance to hang out with Jake after school. It hadn't occurred to her that he'd still be living with his mom at Autumn Leaves.


Jake grabbed his bag and kept up with her. “I work there every afternoon. Mom pays a decent salary and even if I didn't help out, I'd probably get dragged into it every night any way. It's hard to get privacy with a dozen kids running around your house.”


Jordan laughed. “I can't believe you're still there.”


“Janelle's still there, I bet she remembers you.”


“Really?” Jordan smiled. “How's she doing? I haven't seen here since... since I was 14.”


Jake nodded. “She's as steady as ever. She loves the work, and she's co-owner with my mom now.”


“That's great.”


The two of them approached their separate classes. Being a freshman, Jordan had mostly intro classes, and as a sophomore, Jake was just getting his hands dirty in his choose major, sports medicine. His childhood life at daycare had given him a fondness for helping people, and his natural athleticism made it an easy fit.


Before he could actually enter his class though... Jordan run up and punched him in the shoulder. “I'll meet you after school and we'll catch a bus to your place.”


“Sounds good,” Jake nodded, rubbing his shoulder.


“And my notes better be there...”


Jake nodded again, trying not to let a bead of sweat form from the obvious glare Jordan was giving him.


“Seriously, I'll wreck you like a car if they're not.”


“See.ee.ee.see you after school then.”


“Later Jake.”


A WORD FROM CHIYO'S HAMSTER


Chiyo's hamster is known as HOD (Why? You'll find out later) and he happens to be an excellent judge of fashion and market trends. For now, let's critique Jordan... being a 'childhood friend' type character AND having long hair, Jordan is mandated by tradition to wear something in her long hair. Usually this something is a ribbon, headband or trademark clip; something that makes her hairstyle unique and easily recognizable by cosplayers.


By Hamster decision, henceforth, Jordan wears a bow of green ribbon in her hair. Green is a good outdoorsy color, and also reminds the author of something kind of athletic, which, being a taller girl, and maybe a little bit of a bully to Jake, would suit Jordan well.


HOD IS MOST PLEASED


Two buses and a reminder (via kicked shin) later... Jake was walking up the street with Jordan to his home. Nothing really surprised Jake any more when he came home from school. Sometimes it was raked leaves and pile jumpin' day (personal fav)... sometimes a water gun war (not good with a backpack of books)... and sometimes just a simple play with random toys everywhere day.


Today was Jordan's first time back to the daycare in years, and it brought a sudden rush of nostalgia she hadn't really expected to find.


"It's... just the way I remember it," Jordan said whimsically as she trailed a hand along the top of the white picket fence. The green grass of the front yard, the hint of the big mulberry tree in the backyard peeking over the roof, even the white oak front door.


"Yah, hasn't changed much... well, mom ditched that turtle sandbox in the backyard, but that's really not that big a change."


Jordan smiled and Jake opened the gate for her. No sooner did the two of them have a single foot in the yard, then something began to change in the air.


Now, it should be noted, for Fur's it is considered polite in modern society to walk about on one's hind legs. To run on all fours is often seen as childish, and due to the dissimilar body structure of furs and actual animals, it's also impractical. ...but try telling that to Chance or Roxy when a new smell hits their noses. Roxy once walked straight into a wall when her nose was suddenly hit by the smell of fresh mulberry's for the first time. As a husky, all smells must be investigated and categorized. ... Which is why Roxy and her little brother Chance practically burst out of the front door and came bounding up the front walk toward Jake and Jordan.


Jake, having been greeted many times like this before, took a last minute step to the left... and the two huskies each took one of Jordan's legs and knocked her over. Tails waggin and noses sniffin.


"Well hiya!!!" Roxy said with a grin.


"Oof... hi yourself," Jordan managed, landing on her butt and hands.


"You smell like tah cookie jar in tah kitchen when its empty," Chance added thoughtfully as he quickly moved his sniffing up Jordan's leg. Although younger, he was gifted with a bit more of a sensitive nose then Roxy... and he was notorious for emptying said cookie jar.


Jordan giggled a bit and playfully pushed at Chance's head. "I think I made that cookie jar. I gave it as a Christmas gift to Sarah (Jake's mom) a long time ago."


Jake nodded. "The house is littered with the art of 300 children from over 14 years of Autumn Leaves."


"You used to go here?" Roxy asked, tail wagging faster.


Jake grinned. "Jordan, I'd like you to meet Roxy and her little brother Chance."


"Hey hey, watch where you're sniffing," Jordan said only half playfully. She managed to get herself back on her feet and keep the inquisitive toddler from indexing too many of her personal scents.


"Nice to meet'cha ma'am!" Chance grinned, sitting back on his hind paws. Roxy did the same and the two of them sat practically sweeping the front walk with their tails. Jordan didn't notice it, but after years of experience Jake could tell that Chance was in diapers today, an indication that the potty training with Evelyn hadn't gone that well.


"It's great to meet you too." Jordan smiled. "You don't need to call me ma'am, it makes me feel all old. It wasn't that long ago I used to go here... back when Jake and I weren't much older then you two."


"Really?!" Chance asked.


"Yessir, and who wants to show her inside?" Jake asked the pups.


There was a happy bark before the two of them went barreling back up the front walk and trying to squeeze simultaneously through the front door.


"Shoes off you two!" Jake reminded as he started walking after them. "And wash your front paws!"


Jordan shook her head and followed. She couldn't seem to stop smiling as she walked up memory lane.


PAUSE GAME


In the time that Autumn Leaves Daycare had been in business, there had been roughly 284 children to visit and stay (Jake over exaggerated just a tiny bit). Whether after school, or only during the summer when school was out, or even just a few hours every once in a while so mom and dad could catch a movie. It has a very storied past... and Jake was the first kid there, with his former next door neighbor Jordan being the second.


UNPAUSE


"Jordan Barclay?! Little Jordan 'I don't know why Jake has that black eye' Barclay?" Janelle asked, grinning ear to ear with her hands on her hips.


Jordan happily punched Jake in the shoulder. "Yup!"


"It is you!" Janelle said rushing to hug the girl. "It's been years! Look at you, you'd do a vixen proud!"


Jordan smiled and returned the hug. "I've started my freshman year at college with Jake. I heard he was still in the area and looked him up two weeks ago. I had no idea that all of this was still here!"


Janelle frowned playfully at Jake. "Shame on you Jake! You met up with Jordan two week's ago and didn't tell me?"


"Well.. college... and work... and..."


"Shush," Janelle said guiding Jordan over to the adults kitchen table. "This calls for fresh cheese biscuits. Take a seat and I'll start up a batch right away."


Jordan could practically smell them already just from memory. "That'd be great, but if it's all right, there's something I need to do before we catch up."


"Oh?" Janelle asked.


Jordan punched Jake again, and he suddenly nodded, remembering why it was that he brought Jordan home in the first place.


"I brought some notes home that I borrowed from Jordan yesterday. Sometime between arriving here and leaving for school, they disappeared from my backpack."


Jordan punched Jake again and nodded. "Yes and he invited me to help him search."


Janelle laughed. "All right, well, let's see if we can't investigate the matter."


MORE 'SPLAININ


As mentioned (and slowly becoming tradition) this story does not resemble an anime in any way, shape, or form, but it does have cliché elements of an ab/dl/tb/and babyfur story (in fact it has all of the above a bit later). As with any cliché daycare center in this type of story world, there is a potty chart somewhere that allows the different daycare attendants to help track the progress of child bathroom training.


We won't go as far to say that there are hard-line rules such as 'if Danny wets his underwear, he's going to be in pull-ups the rest of the day', but rather, there is gentle encouragement and a few small check marks left when someone does well. For instance, JC and JR have been accident free for almost a year each, and its noted there. If accidents are frequent, then someone will take a step back quietly... its nothing to be ashamed of. Negative marks will not really help in the development of a child and it's not noted on the board. If there is a bit of difficulty in someone learning a little slower than others then Sarah usually has a private encouragement chat with their parents on proven methods to help.


For reference, note the following: Jeffrey and Crystal are both infants and not expected to be potty trained any time soon. Curt and Chance haven't quite gotten the hang of 'warning signs' just yet. Adam, William and Samantha are doing pretty well and should graduate soon. There is also a last member of this list who has somewhat frequent accidents, but you won't find their name on the board. As mentioned before, embarrassment is not a way to train someone properly (despite whatever fetish literature you may read).


DO WELL AND YOU GET A STAR


With a bit of coercion (fruit snacks and fresh cheese biscuits) Jake managed to corral all the children at Autumn Leaves Daycare into the older kids playroom. This was no minor accomplishment. The average attention span in the room capped out at about two minutes without a video game controller involved.


Jordan, Chiyo, Evelyn and Janelle were standing in the back. Jake's mom was in the nursery, attending to the infants. Jake assumed it was safe to mark them off the suspect list.


"Alright everyone... I know there's a lot of playing left to be done, so I'll make this quick. I left my backpack at the top of the stairs yesterday and somehow a paper went missing from it," Jake looked around for effect.


The youngest were gathered up front. Curt was sitting between Chance, Samantha and William. Although briefly mentioned before, William suffered from chronic runny noses and the constant 'c'mon guys, wait up!' kind of follower mentality, but he was a good kid. He was also the only otherkin at daycare, sitting nervously as a toddler green dragon. Behind the toddler group were the older kids, JC, JR, Roxy, Adam, and Marvin.


"I'm not going to point fingers," Jake said looking straight at the Gleeson twins, "I don't know who did it, (look at the Gleeson twins again) I just need the paper back. It belongs to my friend Jordan back there," he motioned to the back of the room. Chiyo made an enthusiastic Vannah White motion at the taller girl.


Jake rolled his eyes. "If you know anything about it, or where it is, please let me know."


With that the little meeting broke up and the children scattered in a hurry to get back to whatever they'd been up to before. Jake stood with arms crossed and looked sternly at the twins. JC and JR just shrugged, seeming not to know.


"Guess we'll just have to form a search party nyah!" Chiyo said with a fist pump. A lot of the kids caught onto her enthusiasm.


"That's a great idea Chiyo," Janelle smiled, her foxy ears standing alert as a good thought crossed her mind. "This is now a game everyone. Whoever can find the notes... gets to take home all the rest of my cheese biscuits tonight."


That got some attention. Even the twins stopped mid-plotting to listen now.


"What's it look like?" Roxy asked Jordan.


"It's just a single page of computer paper with my handwriting on one side. It's for English lit (The only class Jake and Jordan had together), I ran out of out paper and had to borrow from the printer."


"All right, you heard the girl," Janelle smiled.


With that, the hunt was on. The promise of tasty snacks is a wonderful motivator, and with a small army of children, the house was searched quite thoroughly. Toys, left socks, and even the odd crayon were found almost immediately, but the homework was proving somewhat more elusive.


The twins checked the Mulberry Tree. Marvin held William on his shoulders and they checked the cabinets above the toilet in the bathroom. Curt happily rooted through Jake's backpack when he wasn't looking just to make doubley sure (he also stole a few pages from the anatomy book). Jake's mom shooed all searchers out of the nursery, since it wasn't likely to be in there and she didn't want the infants woken up.


Jake decided to do things logically, checking under the many toy shelves and in carefully compartmentalized bins for like toys. Evelyn had the same idea and the two of them happened to bump heads as they both reached blindly for a lego container.


"Oww... sorry," Jake said rubbing his forehead. The two of them were in the toddler playroom and the bump had caused Evelyn's glasses to fall from her nose. Evelyn blushed and quickly felt around for her glasses, but Jake was quick to pick them up and put them back on for her.


"No no, I'm sorry," Evelyn said shyly. "I wasn't really watching where I was going."


Jake began searching through the bin. "Thanks for helping look, Jordan's really set on getting these notes back..."


Evelyn nodded and began sifting through other bins. Her and Chiyo had both started on the same day, and Chiyo had taken to the job like a duck to water, but Evelyn had needed a little help to keep pace with the energetic children. It wasn't that Evelyn wasn't able to keep up physically, it's just that she didn't think on the same level as children and often didn't understand or play along with their games. Her attention to detail and gentle spirit did make her a natural with the infants though.


"It's not here," Jake said putting the bin back and quickly moving on.


Evelyn watched him as he left. He'd been a lot of help to her in the two week's since she'd started. He'd also just put her glasses on for her. She blushed a little at the thought. (She also got up and decided to go check the bathroom, she suddenly needed to pee).


Chance and Roxy found the notes. After getting a pep talk from his sister, the two of them had teamed up to sniff out the whole house. Chance could tell there was another faint smell of Jordan somewhere... and after some searching, the backside of one of yesterday's finger painting projects turned out to be a ticket to free biscuits. Roxy found Jake and pointed the paper out to him. He gave them both a big hug and thanked his luck (and health).


In his excitement to return the missing notes to Jordan, Jake ignored one of the cardinal rules of the daycare (Rule #3 – No running inside). As Jake turned a corner into the older kids playroom, he failed to see a carefully placed Phisher-Price fire truck. He was also unaware of the 37 cents that JR had just bet on his bodily injury, as the Gleeson twins watched excitedly from the corner with Curt.


Thankfully, Jake did not hurt himself as he tripped. He did however flail his arms about and fall onto the first thing in his path... which happened to be Jordan. Time seemed to freeze as Jordan, Jake, and the twins all gasped. Curt smiled and gave a big thumbs up.


Jake stood leaning against Jordan, with both hands on her breasts.


“I... I... found the notes.”


“That's not all he found...” JC whispered to JR.


It has been mentioned previously that Jordan is athletic. What has not been mentioned, is that Jordan was the former captain of her high school Judo team.


In Judo, points are given in three grades: ippon, waza-ari and yuko (ippon is basically instant win). In Judo terms , 'Jordan won her impromptu Judo match with a rather brilliant ippon'... but in more common terms, what actually happened was 'Jordan pulled off the most sicknasty suplex in the suplexiverse' ... and Jake had a concussion.


Growling and covering her chest, Jordan snapped the notes free of Jake's hand. She grumbled about the extra artwork on them and stormed out of the daycare.


There was silence for a while after that. The twins and Curt just stared at the crumpled mess Jake had become. His hand was still stretched out, weakly holding onto... paper... that was no longer there.


Curt was the first one to do anything. He got up and crinkled down the hall to find the nearest authority figure. As he left, JR looked to his sister and silently held out an open palm for his winnings. JC was skeptical for a moment, but even though the fire truck trap didn't work as planned, she had to admit that the end result was much more spectacular, and paid out.


In the next room, Curt found Evelyn. He ran up and grabbed at her capri pants. She looked down at him and he pointed back toward the other room, saying simply 'Owie'. Evelyn didn't follow what Curt was getting at, but she gave him her hand and got led to find Jake. She gasped and ran to his side.


One ice pack and some explaining later, everything was fine. The pups got the biscuits and Janelle remarked how Jordan was exactly as she remembered her. Daycare resumed and Jake was brought upstairs to finish his nap.


INTERLUDE


Fun facts about Evelyn: She is 21, which makes her one year older then Jake. She has never been kissed before. She is very girly and panics over small things. She has glasses as thick as ashtrays and negative vision (no number, negative). She likes her job at the daycare and is studying during the day to be a nurse. She thinks her classes and job complement each other well.


PS: To make sure the mystery gets resolved, we'll just spoil it with godly knowledge. It was the Gleeson twins after all. They routinely search Jake's bag for blackmail materials... recognizing the handwriting on the notes wasn't his, they reused the sheet during arts and crafts. It's all part of a larger plan to slowly drive him insane.


RETURNITH!


With the crisis averted, Jake was hopeful that Jordan would not be angry the next morning. He could remember plenty of injuries at her hands when he was younger, and usually no matter what happened, she forgot about it the next day (girls are weird like that sometimes).


While walking to class, Jake was unaware that Jordan had spotted him and was making her way toward him. As she got closer, Jake's body began to ask itself some weird questions.


“Why is a boot in here?” asked Jake's intestines. “Did Jake eat a boot?”


“Hey guys? Is it raining fist sized hail out there?” asked Jake's upper back. “We should get inside, that stuff hurts.”


"Why am I trying to be bent past safety regulated angles?" asked Jake's spinal cord.


“Ow ow ow ow ow! Jesus, stop! I said I was sorry, it was an accident!!”


"You..." POUND "Pervert" PUNCH "In... front... of..." PUNT "the kids."


Jake crumpled once more as the 'punt' sent 'the kids' straight through the uprights. "Soooorry?" Jake wheezed. Jordan shook her head and kept walking.


Once Jake was finished going through a second puberty (in all of four minutes) he hobbled his way to class and wondered if some higher power hadn't repurposed the use of the word 'sorry'.


"That's the second time 'Sorry' wasn't good enough," Jake grunted... it was sincerely an accident... but then he stopped walking. "Second time?" he asked aloud. "When was the first?"


He had to think about it... there was something just below the surface he had forgotten about in that suplex yesterday, and he was pretty sure it was important.



--------------------



Editorial Notes: (No you don't have to read these notes, but it's polite to the author if you do).


So far the story is progressing well. The actual 'plot' has only been hinted at... The diapers and other infantalist paraphernalia (since that's what y'all are here for) have not shown up yet because I wanted to get everyone to have a connection with the characters before the d-bomb drops. So far, I feel the burgeoning cast of characters is proving a bit challenging, but workable.


True to episodic format, after the intros and setup are done... you move to aiming each episode at specific characters... so with that in mind... Evelyn's at bat. Hope I'm not forcing the humor too much.





Hoiku no Fuben


('Hoiku no Fuben' is romanji Japanese for 'Daycare Troubles' in case you got curious... also, if you're wondering why the title is Japanese and anime-ish, strictly a coincidence since this series is not an anime and does not take place in Japan).


By: CS Fox



EP 3: Blossoms of... blossoms.




“I'm off to class mom,” Evelyn called as she pushed up her glasses and smoothed out her skirt.


“Is there any chance you can get off work early tonight?” Theresa called from the kitchen.


Evelyn froze mid-step to the front door. “Whhhhhyyyyy?”


“There's a new intern at my office I'd really like you to meet.”


A hundred things quickly raced through Evelyn's mind, chiefly of which 'Oh gawd... no no no no no no... Not another one.'


Evelyn's mom, Theresa, was the gorgeous single mother of three accomplished adult daughters. Her progeny; Mallory, Rachael and Evelyn, were all great girls, and like most mom's, Theresa was having trouble sleeping at night over fear that her youngest daughter wasn't getting' any penis. ...yes, penis. She'd been on a quest to find her daughter the perfect mate (penis-wise) and before you ask, Theresa is the most cougary cougar cougar EVER.


“I don't know mom, it's Friday and parents usually pick up a little late at Autumn Leaves.”


“You don't have anything going on Saturday then, do you? He's a really nice guy.” (Translation: Already checked the goods, he's packing extra).


“Mom!! No more setups... please!”


Theresa came to the edge of the kitchen and smiled at her daughter. “I'm just being a good mommy, I want you to come out of your shell sometime.”


“Oh gawd.” Evelyn blushed and quickly looked at the floor. Her mother was fond of collecting 'unique' things and today she was only wearing her pink trimmed apron with Razor Ramone on the front... and he was also nude (except for pink knee pads, that's important).


“M... m... mom, put some clothes on!”


Theresa tilted her head. “Why? Not like its anyone but you and me around here.”


“I'll be busy all weekend mom. Gotta run, or be late... run, late, go me now... bye!” Evelyn's couldn't get out of the house fast enough.


Now before anyone gets upset, Evelyn's mom is relatively harmless (unless you're a boy aged 15-38, in which case she's the terminator). Although her 'priorities' unnerve Evelyn to some extent, they never went beyond the open offer. Despite her mom's best efforts, not only had Evelyn remained a virgin... she'd never even been kissed. Which Evelyn was perfectly fine with.



LET ME JUST FIT THIS IN


Some of the innocent, naïve, and unworldly little readers out there might not know what a 'cougar' is. According to the urban dictionary; a cougar is a 35+ female who is on the hunt for the much younger, energetic, willing-to-experiment male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar. They wait, watch, and calculate, gearing up to sink their manicured claws into an innocent young buck who happens to cross her path. As noted anthropologist Steve Erwin did not once say 'The cougar's number one prey, is man.'


THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID ooooOOOOOO



“It's okay Curt, there are no monsters in the potty,” Evelyn said as she walked him and Chance to the bathroom. Curt simply shook his head no, apparently knowing something she didn't about the matter.


Chance arrived ahead of them at the bathroom door and sat on his padded rump, tail wagging and pawing at the door. He didn't particularly need to use the restroom right now, at least he couldn't tell if he did, but he was thirsty and liked the novelty of the drinking bowl in there. Evelyn opened the door and Chance rushed in, quickly using his nose to try and prop up the big water bowl lid.


“Chance, no no, not for drinking.” Evelyn said. Chance looked at her a little confused, and Curt giggled a bit.


“Why Evie? I want tah water, I'm thirsty.”


Evelyn shook her head. “That's not good drinking water. If you want, I'll get you a glass from the kitchen when we're done here.”


“Then whycome we here?”


“To use the potty like a big boy.”


“Ooh,” Chance said sitting back on his haunches. Ms. Janelle, Ms. Sarah and Evelyn had tried this before. He'd sit on the smaller plastic bowl, nothing would happen, and then it'd be over. It was sort of like a vet visit, but no loli-pop.


Evelyn nodded and used her hand and scooted Curt out from behind her. Bringing him into the room. He skittered for a moment before grabbing at her leg and refusing to go any closer.


“C'mon Curt... look... nothing in there,” she said showing him a plastic toddler potty with nothing inside. Curt bent a little to check the small plastic bowl, but held his grip on her leg, shaking his head no.


“I'll go!” Chance said standing up. Evelyn smiled and helped him undress a bit and then sat him on the potty. The husky pup sat for two or three minutes, his tail thumping the wall behind him as he thought about what he'd do when Evie was done trying 'pot tee training'.


Eventually Evelyn sighed and helped him up. She retaped his diaper. “Guess you don't have to go, huh?” she asked. Chance just shrugged, and continued smiling and tail wagging, attention already wandering outside the door.


“You ready Curt?” she asked.


Curt blushed a bit, offering a thumbs down. “Squishy.”


“You... didn't...” Evelyn leaned down and the smell hit her almost immediately. "Of course..." She sighed again. Part of her knew that Curt had some control already, at least to the point he could go to avoid going in the potty. “All right.. let's get you changed,” she said taking them both out of the bathroom.


Evelyn wasn't giving up just yet. One changed diaper later, and she was in the older kids room, watching everyone play. She sat, not really playing with the kids, but looking for telltale potty signs that Sarah had taught her. Usually she was more an observer then a participant anyways.


“Mom, I'm home,” Jake called.


Evelyn turned and could see Jake at the front door. Sarah was just across the foyer in the toddler room and she came to give her son a hug. “You're here a little late today. Putting in some extra study hours in?”


“Nah... I actually think I unlearned a few things today,” Jake said rubbing at a bruise on his elbow. After class he had to dig himself out of a trashcan after attempting to talk to Jordan again. It had been two days, but she was still angry... and punchy... and what she'd done after class could probably be brought to court as a legal case of fist-face-rape.


Sarah smirked, “Uh oh, haven't made up with Jordan yet? Aww, you two little rascals will never change.”


“Mom, I'm 20, not 8...”


“And you're still at daycare every day after school.”


A few of the kids from Evelyn's room were nearing the door to greet Jake, and most of them giggled at the last comment. Jake just rolled his eyes and his mom laughed and gave him another hug to let him know she was kidding.


“Hi Jake!” came a small chorus of voices. Jake waved and bent down to high five a few of them. Getting the little news of the day.


“Evie?”


Evelyn had gotten a little lost watching the foyer and was a bit surprised to find Chance looking at her with his ears down.


“What is it Chance? Do you need to go potty?”


Chance shook his head, his tail tucked between his legs.


Evelyn sighed again and did a quick check. “All right, come on wet pup, let's get you changed.”


Chance nodded and Evelyn led him by his paw to the changing room. Chance had missed the train once more, maybe only by 15 minutes this time.


As they walked through the snack room, Evelyn met Janelle, Chiyo, Roxy, Marvin and the twins sitting around eating snacks.


“Nyah! Hiya Evelyn,” Chiyo said from one of the kiddie tables.


“Oh, hey Chiyo.”


Chiyo smiled and bounced over to wave. Chiyo often felt that to make waves more personal, you needed to conduct them from just a few short feet away. Evelyn looked at her a little oddly, but waved back to the cat-girl (who practically had a paw in her face).


“Just taking Chance to get changed."


Chance nodded. “I'm pot tee trainin'!”


There was some nodding from Janelle, Marvin and Roxy, but the twins looked at each other and grinned.


“Potty training?! Ooooo can I help?” asked Chiyo.


“Umm.... sure... can you go get Curt? It'd probably be a good time to check to see if he needed to go.”


“Can do!” Chiyo called as she was already out of the room.


Janelle laughed. “Well, someone's enthusiastic. I'll hang here and watch the rogues gallery.” She put a paw on the left and right shoulders of JC & JR respectively. “Wouldn't want anyone interfering now would we?” she asked rhetorically.


The twins quickly shook their heads no and tried to look busy with their snacks. Evelyn took Chance to get his diaper changed.


Once in the bathroom, Evelyn was pretty sure that something was not right. Together with Chiyo, the two of them were making a combined effort to help potty train Chance and Curt. Chiyo was a bit... overexcited. She was doing all sorts of clothes-on demonstrations, while Evelyn blushed her way through the cat-girl's performance.


“I like to sing, I like to dance, but I can't do them with poopy in my pants,” Chiyo said wiggling on the adult potty as Curt sat uneventfully on the plastic one.


(Seriously... Did she really just sing that?) For a moment, Evelyn was positive that Chiyo was actually about to relieve herself while fully dressed from the face she was making.


“No example necessary Chiyo. I think they get it,” Evelyn said trying to take the cat-girl's hand and pull her up and off the toilet.


“But... but... ample example!” Chiyo pouted. Curt and Chance both laughed a bit at her antics.


Evelyn was about to argue the point further, but the ringtone she had reserved for her mother began to play in her pocket. She was probably going to try for a second chance at what she'd offered this morning.


"Hi mom," Evelyn said reluctantly answering the phone. She took a step out of the bathroom and left Chiyo to her dancing potty songs.


"It's getting late honey, are you coming home soon?"


Evelyn frowned and looked at her watch, it was nearly 5pm.


"I told you mom, kids stay late on Fridays."


"Too late to have some company over when you get off work? The boy from my office was curious to meet you. This could be your night to get to 3rd or 4th base..."


"Mom... just stop right there. Another word, and I won't come home tonight."


"All right... all right... I'm just trying to be a good provider, maybe get my daughter a little playtime with..."


Evelyn slapped her forehead and interrupted her mom. "For your information mom, I've never even been kissed."


Chiyo giggled, and Evelyn spun around to see Chiyo's head peeking out from behind the bathroom door. Chance and Curt were there too, only lower down the door.


Evelyn blushed. "What?! It's not weird," she said feeling the need to suddenly defend against the feline smile that Chiyo was giving her. "I'm kind of proud about it," she added with a frown. Chiyo only smiled more. "Besides... the opportunity hasn't presented itself."


"Oh I've got a pretty sizable opportunity that can be waiting at home for you," her mother said on the phone.


"Ewwwww Mom! I already told you, I'm at work and I've got plans tomorrow."


"But, do you have boy plans tomorrow?"


"Sure, I already do. Whatever it takes to get me out of your 'play date' or whatever you're trying to setup."


Evelyn could already hear her mother beginning to formulate a reply, but even as she began to talk, Curt had exited the bathroom and was now pulling on Evelyn's skirt. She looked down at him and to her surprise, saw Curt standing with his legs crossed.


"Quick, phone," Evelyn said giving the phone to Chiyo.


Chiyo went from kitty-faced bemused, to kitty-faced confused. She turned around as Evelyn started helping Curt get to the potty.


"Song time!" Chiyo grinned. She saw Jake come around the corner and quickly passed the phone to him. "Jake, phone! Curt's gonna potty!"


Jake was taken by surprise and assumed someone was actually calling for him. "Hello?"


"...which is why I think you should really let your hair down one of these days... I mean, look at your sister Mallory, the first time she accepted one of my offers she found a great husband!"


"Umm... okay... who am I talking too?" Jake asked, seeming kind of confused.


"Why hellooooooo.... This is Theresa, and who might this be that I'm talking too?" asked a voice that made Jake jump a foot. Whoever it was, they'd suddenly turned on a porno whisper. He held the phone away from his ear and read 'mom' on the screen.


"This is Jake..." he said carefully.


"Jake? Ooooh this is wonderful. I knew Evelyn was hiding someone."


Evelyn's mom? Jake looked at the bathroom door, wondering if this call was really for him, but he could clearly hear Evelyn talking to Curt about how monsters didn't exist in the toilet... and Chiyo singing about it.


"You're going to take my daughter out tomorrow right?"


"Erm... excuse me?"


"It's her first time... sooo... when you do it... make sure its somewhere classy. Don't be like her father and crowd the back of a car after a concert, make sure too..."


Jake quickly clicked the phone shut just as Evelyn came out of the bathroom with Curt on her hip.


"It's all right Curt... " she said reassuringly. “We'll do better next time.”


"You're... phone...." Jake said holding it out and looking a bit embarrassed. It began to ring again in his hands. Evelyn quickly grabbed it and hung up without answering. She held in the power button till it turned off and heaved a short sigh of relief.


"Thanks," she said to Jake, not noticing the blush he had. She turned and kept walking, trying to get her mind off her mother and the near miss with Curt's potty training. "Why don't we get you a snack? I bet Janelle's got some carrot sticks or something," she asked Curt.


Curt shook his head no and made a gagging motion. Evelyn just grinned, assuming he didn't like vegetables (which was only partially true. Curt loved his fruits and vegetables, especially melons and a nice pair of pert yams... Buh dum chiii).


Back near the bathroom, Jake was standing a bit dumbfounded. He jumped another foot as Chance and Chiyo snuck up from behind him.


"Nyah!" Chiyo smiled, playfully pushing him. "Hi Jake!"


"Umm... Chiyo, why'd you give me the phone?"


Chiyo suddenly lost the smile and looked confused. "Phone?"


"Just a moment ago, you handed me Evelyn's phone and said the call was for me."


"Oh nyah! Evie's mommy called and she was saying funny stuffs... but then Curt was about to go potty and she gave the phone to me... but I couldn't take it because I had cheering duties nyah, and soo... you... You came just in time! And then Curt saw a monster in the toilet, but there really wasn't one... and..."


Jake tilted his head, and so did Chance, both boys looking completely lost as Chiyo chattered away.


"...and Evelyn's never been kissed before!" Chiyo said excitedly. "She said so on the phone to her mommy!"


"Umm... yah... I was just talking to her mom, and I think she's under the impression that I'd be taking care of that tomorrow or something," Jake said blushing, wondering if the whole thing wasn't some elaborate prank.


Chiyo's eyes lit up. "You... and Evie? Really?! Nyah! That's perfect!"


"Wait... what?" If Jake had trouble following Chiyo before, he was on a different planet now.


Chance just sat, tail wagging. "You gonna kiss Evie?" he asked.


"What?? How did this come about?" Jake looked even more surprised, alternating his surprise from Chiyo to Chance, and wondering how things had suddenly gotten to this soo quickly.


Chiyo smiled. "Don't worry... secret's safe with me nyah! I'll help you out!"


"Um.. No."



A BRIEF WORD ABOUT A PLACE THIS STORY IS NOT BASED IN


The country of Japan has a rich tradition of blah blah woodcut blah blah haiku blah...more importantly, the Japanese are known for rubber monster suits, hentai, insane game shows, ear-splitting pop music, giant robots and awesome sword fights. They are also a trailblazer and a victim of information technology, existing somewhere between the cutting edge and insanity.


The Japanese have helped revolutionize the home electronics market too, creating robots that fall down stairs and what experts call a "video game," a money-eating device whose side effects leaves otherwise respectable people flailing like idiots and yelling at their hands.


BENIHANA!



Evelyn was relaxing a bit in the older kids room. All the kids had already gone home, except Curt who was playing quietly with a pile of legos.


“Hey Evelyn... did you have plans tomorrow?”


Evelyn turned and saw Jake coming into the room. She shrugged. “Nah, I was just going to study a bit.”


“Well... I was talking to your mom on the phone and I think she has this weird idea that you and I have plans.”


In a very classic sort of way, Evelyn's face suddenly lost all its color and shattered into a million glassy pieces. “My.... mother...?”


“Yah, I'm not sure why she thought that... and I...”


“You... talked... to... my mother?”


Jake blushed a little. “Umm, yah... Chiyo gave me the phone when you two were trying to get Curt to the potty.” For a moment, Jake was flattering himself with the idea that Evelyn had a crush on him and that her mother had spilled the beans about some great plan she had for 'weekend activities.'


Evelyn began to hyperventilate a little. "What. Did. She. Talk. About?" Evelyn asked carefully and as calmly as she could.


"She thinks that... you and I... this weekend."


Evelyn immediately changed from pale white to bright red. "Oh no... I'm sorry, my... my mother's special. Please just forget whatever she said. PLEASE."


Jake looked a bit more confused now, wondering if he was mistaken. "I uh... okay."


"Hey Evelyn! Hey Jake!" Chiyo said bouncing into the room. The two of them turned to see the cat-girl grinning mischievously.


"Hi Chiyo I..."


"Are you two dating nyah-ow, or what?"


"What?!" Evelyn looked shocked. "We... he... me... not..."


"Umm... I really think this has turned into the most confusing Friday I've had in a long time," Jake said.


Chiyo sighed and rolled her eyes. "It's simple. Cat's know all about love! Evelyn, you've never been kissed and need to be."


"WHAT?! No.. no I don't," Evelyn said suddenly blushing and regretting having said that earlier.


Chiyo plowed on, ignoring Evelyn's weak protests. "And Jake here thinks you're the greatest thing since catnip."


"Catnip?" Jake asked.


"Nyah! That's right... and you're both going out tomorrow to study and kiss and be love muffins."


"What's a love muffin?" Curt asked from the corner. It was probably the longest string of words he'd said all week.


Chiyo smiled. "Let me show you," she said as she walked up behind Evelyn. Evelyn was still in the middle of a blushing fit and didn't understand what it was Chiyo was trying to do.


Without so much as a word of warning, Chiyo put her hands on Evelyn's shoulders and shoved her right into Jake. Jake was in the middle of trying to open his mouth to explain to Curt that he was in fact NOT a love muffin... but by a curious quark of almost identical height... his lips met Evelyn's... and Evelyn's eyes shot open as she was suddenly thrust into her first kiss.


Jake and Evelyn quickly separated, both blushing. Chiyo stood smiling with her arms crossed.


"Blossoms of... blossoms!" Chiyo grinned, not even entirely sure what it was she was saying, but hoping it sounded cool and smart.


"Potty!" Curt said urgently.


If it had been anything else, Evelyn would have probably stood there lost in an endless cycle of embarrassment and confused feelings, but seeing and hearing Curt, she quickly wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and ran to take Curt's hand and go toward the bathroom.


Chiyo clapped enthusiastically and hurried after her. "Potty time!!"


Jake was left standing alone, and even more confused.


"Did I just kiss Evelyn?" he asked no one in particular.


In the bathroom Evelyn quickly got Curt next to the potty and tried to coax him through his usual fears of monsters. Chiyo was right behind her and started doing some shinto arm waving to dispel demons or something.


Once Curt was seated, and once her heart began to slow. Evelyn began to realize a few things she had forcibly just blocked out. ... she'd just been kissed... for the first time... and it wasn't one of the sleazy guys her mom was determined to set her up with.


"I'm a big kid and look at me! I can fill the potty with ... with...." Chiyo started singing, but stopped as she noticed something... even Curt saw it, and he couldn't believe what he saw. Evelyn began to wet herself, and she was barely aware she was doing it as she blushed and stared off into the middle distance. "With... pee?" Chiyo asked, finishing her song.









Hoiku no Fuben

By: CS Fox



EP: 4 : Caturday



Before this chapter begins... the author would like everyone to get in the mindset of a cat-girl. This chapter follows the intrepid adventures of Chiyo, the blonde haired, green eyed, orange eared, perky chested, fuzzy brained-- cat-girl.


First... look around your room. Maybe its not 'your' room per say, but look around wherever you happen to be sitting and reading this story. Now, look around again and make a note of everything that's shiney, blinking, or looks like it would roll and bounce if you hit it. Stop reading for five minutes and go fiddle with all those.. ooooo.. shiney...


...


...


...


*noise of something breaking*


...


Ahem... as I was saying, quickly go on reading this story and laugh and look innocent whenever anyone asks you what just happened. To be honest, you're not quite sure what happened. One moment, there was something new and potentially fun, the next moment, some one made a mess and it certainly wasn't you.


Bare that in mind and you'll be 'scratching' the surface of what it means to be Chiyo.


Also... we are now slowly arriving at the plot. The plot in this story is sort of like that guy who arrives late to the party... only drunk, and in a beat-up '53 Chevy pick-up truck. Mr. Plot drives away right after showing up and about 30 pages later it crashes into a tree, and realizes it needs to get its act together, and make a greater effort to be around for all those special diaper filled scenes.


Good to have you back Mr. Plot...


"How'd your date go?"


"It wasn't really a date," Evelyn blushed. Her and Chiyo had run into each other while walking to work. "Jake and I just got together and studied a bit of anatomy for his test next week."


Chiyo smiled broadly. “Oh really?? Anatomy you say?”


Evelyn nodded absently... and then noticed the look on Chiyo's face. “Wait! No! It wasn't what you think!”


Chiyo laughed, “Nyah! And here I always thought you were the shy one. What'd you teach him?"


"It's not like that and you know it," Evelyn protested as she continued to blush.


"You're the one who kissed him."


"You pushed me into it! You robbed me of my first kiss!"


Chiyo just grinned even more. "Oh, was it soo bad nyah? It was obvious you liked him."


"I... I..." Evelyn tried to form an answer, but thinking about the incident only made her blush even harder. "Weh..wet!"


"Mew?" Chiyo flicked her ears, confused at the sudden change in Evelyn's tone of voice. She looked at her co-worker curiously and let out an 'eep' as she saw Evelyn standing with her hands between her legs and a small wet spot growing.


"I.. I can't stop it!" Evelyn stuttered.


Chiyo frantically looked around and thinking fast, she took off her sweater and quickly tied it around Evelyn's waist. "Is... is everything all right nyah? You did that Friday too."


Evelyn was on the verge of tears now. "I think I need to see a doctor or something... it happened once while I was studying with Jake too. He bumped my arm when reaching for a book and before I knew it... oh god it was embarrassing."


"You going to be okays?" Chiyo asked.


Evelyn nodded slowly and adjusted the sweater around herself. It wasn't a really bad accident.. at least not like the puddle her first one created, but it was starting to worry her. Why was this suddenly happening? She tried to look it up the night before, but Google didn't have any answers... (And google is all knowing).


"Wait here! I have an idea!" Chiyo said making a run for a store across the street.


Evelyn wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere. She had learned to always have an extra set of clothes when working around large amounts of burping, puking, and prank playing children. Across the street Chiyo ran out of a pharmacy with a large package stuffed in a plastic bag.


"What's that?" Evelyn asked, looking a little confused.


"Adult protective briefs!" Chiyo grinned. "Pantsu style."


"What? Why?!"


"Umm.. for you?"


Evelyn blushed and started walking away from Chiyo as fast as she could.


"Hey, wait up, Evie!" Chiyo said running after the embarrassed girl. "Do you want to have another accident in front of the toddlers nyah?"


Time to image again... Picture in your head a cute, somewhat bookworm-ish girl trying to run down the street with a hand embarrassingly pressed to her wet crotch. Behind her, and with way too much ethusiasm, is a cat-girl in a skirt, holding a package of disposable panties high above her head. Chases of this sort do not follow the regular law of physics. In pursuit of a kawaii cause; trees, plants, flowers, and small cars are overturned. You'll also have to assume that the cries for help and sounds of agony when the chaser caught chasee, were not hot girl-on-girl action.


"Nyah! It's not sooo bad..." *muffled foot in face noise* "..hey don't touch there!..." *cat screech as tail is pulled* "...like an adult pull-up." *Lesbian kissing and kitty face licking.* ..... ..... (Uh... actually ignore that last part, got a little carried away).


What followed later that day, was actually about as normal as you'd probably expect it not to be. (Aww let down, huh?) Chiyo and Evelyn clocked into work, played with and cared for children, and things were well and good. ... except that Evelyn spent the whole time blushing slightly.


"Well?" Chiyo asked Evelyn as they saw off the last of the children.


"Well what?"


"Did you make it through the afternoon with... ... any more problems?"


Evelyn frowned and crossed her arms. The irony that she'd spent the afternoon potty training two toddlers and was now being asked if she'd had 'an accident' was not lost on her. "I don't know why I let you talk me into this. I'm fine. All right? No problems. I'm convinced the other times were stress induced."


"Hey Evelyn, hey Chiyo," Jake said as he came by with William. He brought the green dragon to the door and waved to his dad outside.


Evelyn immediately froze and tried to hide behind Chiyo as Jake came by.


"Heyo Champ!" Chiyo said with a big clap on Jake's back as the toddler left. "You here to kiss your girl? Or do you need help again?"


Evelyn immediately blushed and tugged on Chiyo's tail.


"Heh heh, she's kidding... KIDDING," Evelyn glared at Chiyo. Chiyo tilted her head and looked over her shoulder smiling.

Jake grinned, nodding embarrassedly. "Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to say thank you for the help this weekend. I really feel like I might actually pass this test."


Evelyn nodded, still blushing. "No problem, it was a good review for me too."


Jake nodded along with her, and the two of them awkwardly nodded at each other back and forth like dueling bobble heads.


"Well, I umm... things to do... go for now... laters!" Evelyn stammered before running toward the back of daycare.


Chiyo sighed, and Jake wondered if he'd done something wrong. He wasn't sure if the two of them were stumbling into a relationship or if Chiyo had just set him up for failure. He was really hoping for some good fortune in his recent streak of bad.


"Mind if I speak with you for a moment Chiyo?"


"Surely purley, what's up?"


"Well, you're friends with Evelyn right? And you sort of... set us up...” Jake said as he watched Evelyn reatreat. “Am I reading the signs wrong or something?"


"Nah, you're straight shootin'." Chiyo said bumping shoulders with Jake and making a pistol motion. "She totally likes you..."


"Right... well, she kind of runs away whenever I'm around now."


Chiyo nodded. "Don't worry, Evelyn's just cautious because she thinks you're causing her to wet herself uncontrollably. She's wearing pull-ups right now."


Jake's eyes went wide, remembering their study session. "...Oh."


"Yup, she's super duper embarrassed about it too. So, don't tell yourself. Okay?"


"...I... won't?"


Chiyo grinned in her one fang feline way and nodded confidently. "Good. Laters, love muffin."




HOD RETURNS


Maybe you forgot... but Chiyo's hamster is named HOD.... and being an all knowing Hamster, HOD returns to impart knowledge about his owner, Chiyo. HOD used to roll in the hamtaro gang, so imagine him about six inches tall, with a professor hat and a pointy stick to outline this lesson on a chalkboard. This will be longer then most 'asides' so sit tight for the lesson.


Point 1: Crossbreeds are rare. Chiyo happens to be part of a mysterious minority. In history, crossbreeds have only come from the successful couplings between humans and either feline, canine, bunny, or bovine furs (Point 1.5: half-cows have ginormous tits and produce highly valued milk, yum). That's all that Anime allows... except for monster girl hentai, which allows mermaids, harpies, nagas, bee-girls, spider-girls, goo girls, squid-girls and other beat-your-meat treats... but... since this series is neither anime or hentai, it shall only contain what the author god demands. So.. normal crossbreeds yes, but hentai crossbreeds no.


Point 2: Typically crossbreeds are completely human with the exception of a tail, ears and genetic habits and mannerisms. For instance, Chiyo has a cat's tongue and cannot deal with hot spices of any kind. Chiyo also loves to nap (anywhere) and lap milk from a saucer when no one's looking.


Point 3: For you pervert engineers... humans, crossbreeds, furs, and pretty much every male/female coupling can still reproduce; it's just that 98% of the time, the child ends up same race as the mother. Crossbreeds are that 2% extra.


Point 4: Official races are thus: Human, Fur, Crossbreed, Otherkin, and Taur. Otherkins are dragons and furs of aquatic origin. Taurs are the opposite of crossbreeds, they are half fur, half animal (usually horse or panther, but some canines exist too). There are no Taurs that feature prominently in the first series, so we will not get into their complicated nature.


HOD HAS THUS MADE YOU SMARTER



When Chiyo came to work on Wednesday... something was.... wrong.


The first ones to notice something different about Chiyo were the Gleeson twins. Usually Chiyo was infectiously bubbly, but today there was a slight frantic note to her actions. The twins didn't know what it was, but their curiosity piqued a little higher when Chance and Roxy began purposefully avoiding her.


"What's up Chance? Don't think we haven't noticed you keeping a distance from Chiyo," Jamie-Chris asked. Today the twins had styled themselves to be clashing; JC wearing all black, and JR wearing all white.


Chance looked nervous at JC's question. "She.. she smells..."


JR laughed. "I don't smell anything different about her."


Chance sat on his haunches together with the twins in the backyard. "You can't? It's really really sthong. I don't think it's a bad smell, but my sister said it's not polite tah sniff near her right nows."


The twins looked at each other. JC raised an eyebrow and JR nodded. Indeed, it was mystery... and mysteries needed solving.


The three of them made their way inside and tried spying on Chiyo from around a corner. They found her in the older kids room trying to watch Curt, William, and Roxy as they played with legos. Chance eyed the legos hungrily, but JC held her hand on his tail to keep him from giving them away.


"She's not playing with the legos.” JC noted. Chiyo was very much hands on with any childish activity. “She's sitting apart... kind of like Evelyn does when she gets all nervous.”


"And her tail...” JR remarked, taking on a 'watson' bravado. “Barely even moving. Usually that thing's all over the place."


The three of them nodded in unison. Chance only did so because it looked like the right thing to do. He wrinkled his nose a bit as he caught the subtle but strong smell once more.


"What are you three doing?" asked Evelyn as she came up behind JC, JR, and Chance; all of whom were gathered at the corner of the foyer and quite obviously spying. They looked back at Evelyn. The twins shrugged innocently.


"Something's wrong with Chiyo," Chance said.


The twins both frowned. "No, what Chance meant to say is that she's just a little off her game today."


"Off her game?" Evelyn asked looking confused. She stepped into the doorway and looked over at Chiyo. The cat-girl was sitting a few feet away from the kids. She had both of her hands pressed firmly between her knees, and her ears laying flat to the side. It was a very odd, almost meek look for her.


"You three run along, I'll go talk to her," Evelyn said scooting the three of them away from the door. The twins groaned, but Chance just shrugged and ran off to go raid the cookie jar.


"Chiyo...?" Evelyn asked walking into the older kids room. Chiyo turned her head very slowly... and as Evelyn got closer, she could tell that the cat-girl was breathing heavy and sweating a little.


"Hi... Evie," she said in a lot less cheerful manner than normal.


Evelyn immediately knew the three in the hall had been right. She didn't say a word, and put the back of her hand to Chiyo's forehead. She didn't have a fever, which only helped confirm Evelyn's initial thought. She did the first thing that came to mind.


"Jake!" she called out.


Jake had been in the snack room, and came running at the yell.


"What is it? What happened?"


"Watch the kids," Evelyn said not bothering to explain. She grabbed Chiyo's hand and practically dragged the cat-girl out of the room. Jake was left standing and scratching his head. The three playing with legos looked up at him not sure what had just happened.


"Girl's are weird," Jake said to answer their unspoken question. Roxy frowned at him and Jake gave her head a pet. "Except you Roxy, you're cute." Roxy grinned and wagged her tail as she went back to legos.


Evelyn shoved Chiyo in the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She was studying to be a nurse and she had studied non-human anatomy. Approximately every six months, the females of many species of furs and crossbreeds go through a very special medical condition known as 'Estrus'. It's a little bit technical to get into, so we'll just refer to it as 'cat-girly problems'.


Usually, furs took meds for this type of thing... sort of like being on the pill every half year... but Chiyo wasn't good at tracking her bodily cycle. To be honest she wasn't aware of a lot of things that weren't shiney and currently within her eyesight, but that's beside the point.


"Chiyo, are you all right?"


Chiyo tried to smile. "Super duper."


Evelyn was positive now... "Okay, don't move... be right back." It took her less than 30 seconds to run to the kitchen and grab a surprised Janelle by the paw. Evelyn brought her into the bathroom. It only took one sniff from Janelle to understand the situation.


"CHIYO! What on earth are you doing?" she asked, politely trying to cover her nose. Humans can't smell the subtleness, but other furs sure can. "You're in full heat."


Chiyo blushed. She kind of suspected she was, but she had neglected to pack any of the masking products in her bag... and it was a bit late now... even if she got something to cover the smell, there was nothing that could get rid of the itch she wanted scratched.


Chiyo's ears dropped at the older vixen's tone. "I... didn't know. It just started today."


"Take off the rest of the day. I'll drive you home,” Janelle said. “I don't think it's a good idea for you to work like this. I'll talk to Sarah, don't worry, you're not in trouble, just come back when you're feeling better."


"Six months ago... I had a boyfriend," Chiyo said still blushing. "This sort of problem was... easy to take care of."


Janelle rolled her eyes. “Take a cold shower, you'll be fine.”


Chiyo blushed and nodded. Before her last boyfriend, she used to live with her mom and her mother always kept a calendar going and made her take sedatives to downplay the estrus.


Back in the playroom.... JC and JR decided to approach Roxy... she was the most likely source of information for their mystery. They had just seen Chiyo leave the daycare with Janelle and they could tell something was rotten in the state of Denmark.


"It's girl problems," Roxy said matter-of-factly. She was still playing with legos next to Curt and William.


"Girl problems? What's that mean?" JR asked, looking to JC. His sister just shrugged. This was the first she'd heard of it too. It didn't seem like anything birds and bees.


"Yup, momma told me about it. Said it happens when you're older," Roxy nodded. "Gross stuff. Think of it as having a bad flu."


“Ooooohhhhh,” the twins said in unison. She was just sick. That's easy enough to understand. Even they both got the flu sometimes.


"What are you guys talking about?" Jake asked coming over. He knew that the twins didn't get involved in anything playful or innocent.


"Chiyo went home early... she's not feeling well," Roxy said. The twins nodded.


"Aww that's too bad," Jake said. He had noticed Chiyo looking a little less perky then usual.


"You should make her soup tonight! Always makes me feel better," William said with a sniffle. He had a permanent runny nose, and Jake got a few tissues from the counter for him.


"I think I might. Chiyo's a little silly... but she's been looking out for me recently." ( .... .... okay, who didn't see that coming?)



AN IMPORTANT WARNING


The reason this chapter took a day or two longer then the previous chapters to write, is because the author had a moral dilemma. On any normal day, Chiyo's definition of 'hug' is probably closer to 'cuddle to death'... and so it should only follow that on a day when she's horny as all get out... the author fears that poor Jake may end up 'pounced' (for lack of a cuddlier term).


Sooo... in order to prevent Jake's... pouncing. The author had to think of some way for Chiyo to mellow out... and the author came up with... drugs.


YOU'VE BEEN WARNED



Chiyo had yet to remove her hands from between her knees. She had held them there since the middle of the afternoon... it was the only way she knew to keep from giving herself a friction based rugburn (don't bother yourself with wondering where).


She uncurled herself from a ball on the couch and went to her bedroom. She waved a nervous hand at HOD her hamster, who was seated quietly on his butt, eating a sunflower seed. He knew what was up... but lacking a method of communication with Chiyo besides happy chitters, he sat feeding his fat self.


Under Chiyo's bed, she had a special box she kept secret. Chiyo had a bit of a habit that she kept quiet. A little herb never hurt any feline...


That's right...


Catnip.


To get a perspective, imagine your best wet dream and then dip it in chocolate cocaine. That's catnip to a cat. The only problem is that it only lasts for about 5 – 15 minutes and can't be induced again for over an hour afterwards. (Its not habit forming, seriously).


Having been taught to use it only in moderation... she always felt a little nervous when she took out her box. Kneeling half under her bed, and with one hand still pressed between her knees... she opened the box.


She had a few stalks of the flowered plant carefully wrapped in silk. She took a few deep breaths of the familiar aroma, already feeling the fur on her ears rise a little. She nibbled on one of the leaves, and as she did, her tail began to lower in relaxation... finally easing off the thoughts she'd had roaring through her mind all afternoon. She crawled out from under her bed and rolled onto her back, beginning to purr softly.


After a few minutes of lying in ecstasy, she looked up a bit curiously as she heard a knock from the door. At first the early feelings of catnip were clogging her mind, but as the estrus conflicted with these, she meeped and quickly rolled toward the door.


“Who... who's there?” Chiyo meeped as she frantically tried to stand up. She worried that it might be the police. (Which was kind of silly since catnip was perfectly legal).


“Hey Chiyo... its Jake. I heard you weren't feeling well and brought you a gift.”


“Hiiiiii.... Jake....” Chiyo said nervously, happy at least it wasn't the po'po's. But damn it! Why did he have to say 'gift'... a cat's curiosity demanded she find out what it was. She opened her door a bit shyly, her free hand finding its place back between her knees, but she worked to keep that from his view.


“Thanks for worrying about me, but... I'm sokay.”


“All right... hope you feel better,” Jake said not sure what was going on. “Are you sure you're all right? Usually you're so much more... cheerful.” (read: forceful).


“Just... not myself today nyah... what did you bring me?” she asked, unable to hide her curiosity.


“Everyone thought you were sick, so I brought some soup. Lay down for a moment and I'll prepare it for you if you like.”


Chiyo whimpered softly. Part of her was on fire and the other part was dancing in the wind... she couldn't figure out what she wanted. All she could do was hold on tight to the doorknob and put her weight against it, mewling softly as her knees began to buckle.


Jake couldn't tell what was happening, but from his perspective, it looked like Chiyo was about to faint. He rushed inside the door and caught Chiyo by the back and helped ease her to the floor.


“It's okay, lets just get you to the couch,” he said adopting the tone he used at daycare with the toddlers. It was a second nature to use it whenever he went into 'helper' mode. Chiyo blushed, and tried to say something, but all she could do was get her head to loll to the side as she began to unconsciously purr.


Jake scooped her up by the back of the legs and carried her wedding style to the couch. Chiyo was always the instigator in relationships, and having spent so much time on her own, she completely froze and blushed at the unexpected attention. She hadn't expected Jake to stop by... she didn't even think of him in anything but a co-worker capacity... but... here he was being nice to her. He didn't say a word, he just went to her little kitchen area and started up a soup.


The effects of the catnip were working full force on Chiyo. She began to writhe about on the couch, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead and purring louder then before. It wasn't working the way she'd hoped... she wanted to just lull herself into a drunken stupor and try to sleep off her 'problems', but with Jake here...


Jake could hear Chiyo purring from behind him (and couldn't sense has own poor misconceptions). He smiled, feeling good that he was actually getting a chance to help someone out who was genuinely in need.


“Nyah... Jake... I... I don't have the flu...” Chiyo said in a bit of a broken voice.


Jake just waved over his shoulder as he heated the soup. “It doesn't really matter what it is, so long as you get better.”


No... no... she couldn't... she'd just set him up with Evelyn. ... she curled up into a ball and started crying at the chaotic mix of emotions. Jake finished the soup and came over with a big bowl. He hurried a little faster and quickly put it on her coffee table as he saw her state of distress.


“Chiyo?” he asked standing at her side, patting her shoulder to make sure she wasn't doubled over in pain. Chiyo quickly grabbed his hand and took it into her curled up embrace of herself.


“You have to go nyah! Please, please...”


Jake was a bit confused, she was saying for him to leave, but only holding his arm tighter.


“What's wrong Chiyo?”


She pulled at his arm more, causing him to bend over toward her as she hugged just above his elbow, rubbing her face into him.


“Go away!” she purred.


“What is it with girls and being completely unreadable?!” Jake asked trying to free his arm. Something wasn't adding up right.


“Chiyo, what's wrong?! Why are you...”


Jake stopped as Chiyo opened her eyes and stared right up into his. She had beautiful green eyes.


“I promise I'll make it up to Evelyn...” she mewed.


Jake was feeling a little nervous now, seeing something odd in those eyes of hers. “Make... what up?”


“I'm... not sick... I'm... I'm...”


Chiyo used Jake's arm as something of a climbing rope and brought her lips up to his, quickly pushing with her legs and knocking them both over backwards.


“I'm in heat!” she cried out in frustration.


... ...


Time to use your imaginations again... this time I'd like you to image a little man that we'll name 'self-restraint', lets call him Sel-res for short. Sel-res is generally a nice guy, sometimes easy to get along with... sometimes not... unfortunately, Sel-res met with a bit of an accident today. He was taken out of action when he was suddenly hit by a car. (Only replace car with Chiyo's body tackling him to the floor).


In the end... Jake got pounced. Perhaps in good fortune, or perhaps in bad... but before you get all worried and such... this is similar too (but not) an anime, and in that comparison, the boy does not sleep with any of the attracted girls (until like the last episode or OVA).


Sooooo.... fill your imagination with what you will, and we'll just call this one an infield hit that landed our runner safely at third base... and dowsed some metaphorical fires.


Oh! Other fun note. ... Chiyo wets the bed now.


Tootles!










Hoiku no Fuben


By: CS Fox




EP 5: Jordan Gets A Job



Jordan was mad. Although maybe that's not anything new.


First, Jordan sprained her hand.


She had started up a Judo club at her community college, and while working out a little stress... she landed a little wrong.


Second, she was living off of ramen.


Finding a place to live near the campus had proved a little more expensive then her budget allotted. With average living expenses and school costs, her savings were not going to last. ...but hey, at least she was doing good in class right? (D is for diploma).


"Jake!" she called seeing the chest-grabby-king. He was usually good for a stress relieving beating.


Jake turned around, surprised to see her. "Hey, Jordan... how's it going?" he asked a little fearful that he was about to speak with Johnny McKnuckle.


Jordan stomped on Jake's foot. "Crappy... but I'll forgive you for being a jerk last week if you carry my bag." She didn't wait for a response before swinging her bag and creaming Jake in the face with it.


There was a muffled thud as Jake was knocked over and Jordan let out a sigh, happy to have the pressure off her hand. Once Jake had gathered himself up, and had a tissue to his slightly bleeding nose, he shouldered her bag and started walking with her.


"I was beginning to think you hated me," Jake said, patting gently at his nose.


Jordan shrugged. "I do... but when has that ever gotten between us?"


Jake gave her a lopsided smile. "What'd you do your hand?"


"Judo."


"Judo?"


"Yoooou want a demonstration?"


Jake quickly shook his head no. "No demonstration necessary."


Jordan nodded and started walking again. Things never really changed between them... and that was a comfort. Truthfully she was a little mad still, but given how crappy the week had gone, she was willing to forgive her old favorite beat up boy.


She looked him over, running his current appearance against her many memories of him... Something seemed out of place. Sometimes when people try to make something less noticeable... they make it more noticeable... like wearing a scarf on a warm day in the middle of September.


"Why are you wearing a scarf?" Jordan asked.


"It's fashionable?" Jake said innocently, holding up one of the ends of the scarf. Jordan grabbed the other end of his scarf and yanked at it, causing Jake to bend over and weeze as the cloth closed tight around his windpipe.


"Jor..dan...!"


With the tugging motion, Jordan discovered what the inappropriate cloth was trying to hide. On the right side of Jake's neck... dark as a good glass of wine... was a hickey.


"What the hell is that?"


"Battled... tentacle monster," he wheezed. (Treasure drop M. Indigenous to all-girl catholic schools).


Jordan frowned and started walking, pulling Jake by his scarf. "Speak dog. Who is she?"


"Who's... who?"


"Don't play coy. The hoover vacuum, tell your old friend about your girl."


“I seriously...” Jake struggled to get his neck free, “don't know...” he tugged at his end of the scarf till he escaped, “what you're talking about!” he said finally able to breath normally.


Jordan just glared with her hands on her hips. “Jake. That's a hellish hickey. Stop being stupid and just fess up.”


Jake blushed. “Someone I work with.”


Jordan smiled. “Was that soo hard?” she asked walking once more. “Sooo... tell me the dirty details. What'd you two do?”


Jake rolled his eyes. “Not entirely sure I feel comfortable talking about it... Can I have my scarf back?”


“One scarf, for one complete confession,” Jordan smiled.


Jaked glared and weighed his options. “She kissed me.”


“Just kissed? That's an awful big hickey for just a kiss.”


Jake sighed. “Fine... you want nitty gritty? Kiss. Kiss. Lick. Undress. Bite's me. Finger her. Lick clean. Blow. Swallow...”


Jordan punctuated Jake's onomatopoeia by adding 'punch' and 'kick' after swallow. She put enough force into it to knock him flat. While on he was the ground, Jordan took her bag back. Her sprained hand hurt like hell now, but it was worth it.


Jake groaned. “You're the one who asked!” he yelled after her, holding his face. As Jordan was leaving, she turned and threw his scarf at him angrily.



SOME DIRTY FACTS FOR YOU


In so many words, Jake got a blowjob (and did the gentlemanly thing to do, by licking a kitty clean). Jordan knows this now... but that's not what got her so mad. The real reason that Jordan is mad is because she doesn't like the taste of rainbow sherbert. That's what blowjobs taste like ladies; Rainbow Sherbert... Anyone who tells you differently is lying, probably trying to keep you from finding out how great they are in order to keep all the rainbow sherbert for themselves. Also, giving a blowjob clears up your complexion and reduces body fat. Remember that.


ANOTHER SECRET FROM THE BOOK OF HOD



Evelyn was feeling a bit down and out today. She was still avoiding Jake, and for some reason, she got the feeling that Chiyo was avoiding her now too. Usually as soon as Chiyo got to work, she'd find Evelyn and pouncehug her. Today... the cat-girl snuck by the older kids room without saying a word.


“You feeling better Chiyo?” Evelyn asked as she came into the backyard. Chiyo was watching the twins climb the tree... but her ears twitched at the sound of Evelyn's voice and she meeped, spinning around.


“Oh yes, I... I... I worked it out,” she blushed.


Evelyn smiled. “I'm glad your back to your old self again. You were looking pretty out of it the other day...”


Chiyo's ears flattened, and she tried everything she could to change the subject. “How are you feeling Evie?” she lowered her voice to a whisper, and checked to see if the twins were watching. “Still in pull-ups?”


“Stop calling them that... but yes... I still am,” she whispered back. “And I haven't had much improvement. I wet last night and again after lunch today... it just seems to happen randomly, and gets worse whenever I'm near Jake.”


Chiyo only blushed harder, she'd wet the bed last night too. “Do you think it has something to do... with Jake?”


Evelyn fidgeted a moment. How could it be with him? Maybe she could ask him? No... that was stupid. 'Hey, are you making me pee myself?' what type of question was that?? ... ... but... even as she thought it, she began to pee herself again.


“Chiyo... I'm having an accident right now!” she said, trying to keep her voice down.


Chiyo blushed. “Me too...” she whimpered putting her hands between her legs. The whole talk was burning the memories of her 'romp' with Jake into her mind.


There was uproarious laughter from the tree as the twins hung down and laughed at Chiyo's obvious distress. The undergarment that Evelyn was wearing prevented anything from showing exterior evidence besides her awkward stance, but Chiyo's wet pants showed her problems quite openly.


“Wet kitty! Wet kitty!” JR taunted.


“Sooo... that's why Chance's been having a hard time. He's learning from the wrong people,” JC said thoughtfully.


Both twins shrieked as they suddenly saw Chiyo scamper up the tree, her tail puffed and ears back. Evelyn could sense impending scratches and quickly grabbed at the cat-girl's tail, dragging Chiyo hissing out of the tree.


“Chiyo stop it, we need to get inside.”


“Noooo, Chiyo no wanna. Chiyo want to throw twins out of the tree,” she whined making clawing motions at the tree.


Janelle was in the kitchen (her usual post) as Evelyn dragged Chiyo inside. She was about to say something to the girls about their shoes being on as they came in... but one look at Chiyo's wet pants and the wild eyes she had, enticed her to go back to baking.


“If I don't ask what happened, I don't have to find out,” Janelle said quietly to herself.


“I'm sorry!!!” Chiyo said to Evelyn, losing her will to struggle and attack the tree.


“No, its all right... it happened to me too.”


Chiyo wanted to say it wasn't about the accident to which she was referring, but bit her lip and began to right herself, following Evelyn toward the bathroom. She didn't question her friend as she was handed one of the same pull-ups that Evelyn had just wet.


“When Jake gets home... I'm talking to him. I'm convinced now. This is his doing... and I think you caught it from me...” Evelyn said, looking a little embarrassed.


Chiyo kept biting her lip. “I don't know if I caught it from you... I think I caught it from him too.”


Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”


Chiyo pulled the pull-up around her waist and blushed a bit. She tried to look any where but at Evelyn. “He visited me when I was feeling... sick.”


Evelyn nodded once, only half processing the information. “That was nice of him... did he... .... WHAT?!”


“He didn't know about my... heat.”


Evelyn grabbed Chiyo by the shoulders, not exactly sure what she had just heard. ...had her friend been taken advantage of?


“'Mom, I'm home,” said someone at the front door.


Evelyn looked at the bathroom door, and then at Chiyo again. “Answers.... NOW,” she said taking Chiyo's hand and dragging her out of the bathroom.


Jake was running late again. His professor required him to stay after class when he'd shown up 20 minutes into the lecture. His excuse about going to the clinic for an ice pack didn't fly.


As Evelyn turned the corner, dragging a stumbling Chiyo behind her, she found Jake high fiving with Roxy and Marvin. The three of them looked at Evelyn and Chiyo with surprised expressions.


“Uhhh... hi?” Jake asked suddenly blushing a bit.


“Got a thing for cat-girls in heat do you?!” Evelyn practically screamed.


“Oh crap...” Jake immediately started backing up, hands out like he was about to have a gun drawn on him.


Marvin looked at everyone like they were crazy. “Maybe I don't understand what's going on... but... why are you both wearing pull-ups?”


Evelyn suddenly realized that Chiyo was tugging at her hand. She turned around and saw that the cat-girl had her legs crossed and was doing her best to pull her shirt to her knees.


“Evie... pants...” Chiyo mewled.


Evelyn realized her own legs were bare and her face flushed bright as a cherry. “Stay...” she yelled at Jake, pointing. “Be back, go... pants... us...” she added frantically motioning at herself and Chiyo.


Jake, Marvin and Roxy stood in complete loss as the two other girls ran back toward the bathroom. Had they really just seen that? Or was this like a waking dream or something?


“I'm with Marvin on this one, why are they in pull-ups?” Roxy asked, her tail wagging curiously.


“Must be potty training again,” Marvin grinned. “Hehe and they're maaaadddd at you Jake.”


Jake sighed. “I have no idea why they are wearing pull-ups, and Marvin, of course they're mad. Girl's are always mad at me about something lately. I like to pretend that once a month when...”


“HEY!” Roxy said kicking Jake's shin. “S'not polite.”


Jake grinned, “Haha, guess you're right. Well you two head off, I'm going to wait here for my doom.”


Roxy and Marvin both eased themselves into the older kids room where they could easily see and hear the foyer for whatever super interesting older kid drama was about to go down. Curt and William were already there trying to play connect-four, and seeing the commotion, they joined into the peanut gallery.


“You took advantage of Chiyo! I can't believe you!” Evelyn announced as she came stomping out of the bathroom.


“Excuse me?!” Jake asked. “Now hold on a minute!”


Chiyo came out of the bathroom following behind Evelyn and trying to grab her hand. “Nyah, wait Evie...”


“Did you or did you not fool around with Chiyo?” Evelyn said.


“I... um....” Jake scratched at the back of his head. He already knew that Evelyn probably had him dead to rights. “I did... but, I certainly didn't take advantage of her.”


“The poor girl was in heat and weak and...”


“Evelyn, hold on you don't...”


“You horrible monster, we should be talking to the police!”


“I didn't take advantage of her!”


Evelyn began to get a little teary eyed. “First you go out with me, and then...”


Chiyo hugged Evelyn from behind. “Evie... it... it wasn't like that,” she said spinning the girl around. Evelyn's eyes were wet, but the anger left as soon as she wasn't looking at Jake. Chiyo sighed and looked at the floor, even as she held Evelyn. “Nyah... Jake... thought I had the flu... and he brought soup...”


“Soup?”


Chiyo nodded and let go of Evelyn, walking over to Jake. Jake looked at her questioningly, but didn't stop her as she helped herself to his scarf. It took one unwrap for Evelyn to see the big red mark. Among the gathered kids in the next room, Curt let out a whistle of surprise, and there was a little giggling.


“Mew... I... sort of attacked... him...” Chiyo said blushing. “I... wasn't really in control of my actions (read: she was high as a kite).”


“You... him?” Evelyn looked a little hurt now. “But... but how could you? You knew that I liked him...”


Jake was happy, but could sense this wasn't going to go well, and given the miserable luck he'd had recently... he slowly began to open the front door behind him. Discretion is sometimes the better of valor.


“Nyah.. I didn't mean too... and you weren't boyfriend girlfriend...” Chiyo pouted, not really to justify her actions, but to make herself feel a little less guilty.


“He was my first kiss!”


The kids in the playroom were slowly moving toward the backdoor, intent to meet Jake around the front door as Evelyn and Chiyo got into it. Jake had managed to very quietly get the front door open and was slowly backing out of it about three inches every second.


“I'm sorry Evie... Nyah... you don't know what its like to be in heat. It dominates your thoughts.”


“And... safe,” Jake said as he got the door shut. The gang of kids was quick to run around the side of the house and join him... they had grown by three more with Chance and the twins. Jake rolled his eyes as all of them gave him a big smile.


“This is going to be like wrestlemania isn't it?” Marvin asked while rubbing his chin. He had visions of the girls tag teaming Jake and burying him in the yard.


“Sixty cents on Evelyn over Chiyo,” one of the twins whispered to the other. “Hell nah! Chiyo's crazy athletic, Evelyn loses her glasses and its over,” the other said back... sometimes when they both talked fast it was hard to tell who was saying what.


“Stop stop,” Jake pleaded. “Whatever you rascals heard, its not you're concern. This is adult business.”


“When Evelyn said 'take advantage', did she mean you stole money from Chiyo?” William asked wiping his runny nose. Money matters were of great importance to dragons.


“No. No. And no. I didn't take any money. All of you don't understand what's going on.”


Curt shook his head, “Jake kiss Evie, and she thought Jake kiss Chiyo... but Chiyo kiss Jake... and make his neck red,” said the 3-year-old playa. A lot of the gathered kids went 'oooohhhhh' as they understood.


Jake slapped his forehead. “Alright, maybe you do understand, but still... leave the adults to their business. There will be no wrestlemania. They're not angry... at least not violently angry,” he added.


“Who's not violently angry?” asked someone from the gate. The mass of kids and Jake turned around... and found Jordan.


“Heheh, I remember her, you touched her boobies Jake,” Roxy said nodding. Half the kids nodded with her. Jake looked from them to Jordan and tried to smile and shrug as if to say 'kids heh heh...'


“Very cute,” Jordan said cracking her knuckles.


“What are you doing here Jordan?” Jake asked wondering if it was safe to retreat back through the door yet.


“I came to speak to your mom. I'm interviewing for a position with...”


“JAKE!” yelled Evelyn as the door behind Jake was flung open. The crowd turned around again and found her blushing with Chiyo hiding behind her. “Questions... now” Evelyn said yanking him by the shoulders back into the house. The door slammed shut behind him as he reached feebly for the kids.


The twins burst out laughing, and the other kids began to gossip among themselves. Looking a bit confused, Jordan let herself into the yard.


“Did I just miss something?” she asked Roxy, recognizing the young husky.


“Yup, Jake's in trouble with Evie and Chiyo,” she nodded again.


Jordan smiled and bent down to be closer to Roxy's height. Jordan was a tall girl, just over six feet, and although Roxy didn't really care about height differences, she did what came natural and licked Jordan's nose.


Jordan wiped her now wet nose. “Well... which girl did Jake kiss?” Jordan grinned, curious.


Curt stepped up to answer. “Both girls!” he exclaimed with two thumbs up.


Marvin nodded. “And I think they're about to beat him up.”


Jordan frowned and cracked her knuckles again. “I think I'll help them.”


(Ding... Ding... And in this corner... at 6'1” and weighing in at a modest 135lbs... the organizer of the NPCC Judo team... competing in wrestlemania for the first time... ... )



TIDDLYWINKS AND SHINANIGANS


Before Jake dies... (well maybe not dies, with the amount of medical knowledge that Evelyn possesses, you shouldn't worry about Jake's health) lets have a brief discussion about that magical anime misconception with defibrillators.


In anime (and hollywood for that matter) the defibrillator apparently allows us to bring anyone whose heart has stopped back from the dead, provided we have at least 75 percent of their remains intact. With this wonderful piece of modern medical technology, we are able to laugh in the face of death, then spit in it and call him stupid... and shit on his porch. All with science.


Oh wait, that's a total croc of shit. Have you ever wondered why they call it a defibrillator instead of a de-deather or de-lawsofnaturer? That's because defibrillators don't work that way; they can't bring people back to life. They are a little like Sean Connery: suave and sexy in movies, but pretty unimpressive in real life (also very old and hairy). Basically, what the defib machines can do is help a patient regain a regular heart rhythm when they go into cardiac arrest, which it does by stopping their heart. Hopefully, it restarts with a normal rhythm. If the patient is already flat-lining, meaning their heart has already stopped beating, using the defibrillator to stop it some more will do about as much good as removing a malignant brain tumor with a shotgun blast.


BOSH AND POPPYCOCK




Jake wasn't really exactly sure why he was crowded into the corner of the infant room. Evelyn looked upset, Chiyo looked worried, and for whatever reason, Jordan had joined the two of them and looked to be ready to put a hurting on him.


“I swear... too all three of you... everything was an accident, and completely not my fault.”


Jake ducked a strong right jab from Jordan.


“Stop! I'm serious! Jordan, I tripped. Evelyn, I was pushed. Chiyo, I was misinformed.”


“Tripped... right..,” Jordan frowned. “Grab my tits, flaunt a hickey... I just want to beat you up for these two.”


“I... I don't know what to blame... but Jake... I'm having a problem,” Evelyn said stepping forward. She put a hand to Jordan and although the two didn't know each other well, Jordan lowered her hands at the obvious look of discomfort from the bookworm.


“Jake, I've been having accidents,” Evelyn said. “Chiyo has too... and we talked about it, and we think you might be the cause.”


“Accidents?” Jake asked, a bit confused. Jordan looked just as curious.


“Nyah,” Chiyo nodded.


“Is... this about the pull-ups?”


“Yes Jake... since I kissed you, I've been wetting myself. Its the same for Chiyo.”


Jordan frowned and hit Jake's shoulder. “You have herpes or something Jake?”


“What? No!”


Evelyn shook her head. “It's not an std, herpes don't make you pee yourself. I don't know what it is and I'm pre-med,” she said to Jordan.


The three of them looked at Jake again... who just shrugged. “I swear to the three of you, I have no idea... sooo not my fault.”


(And in a way, its not. Some people just have bad luck... like accidently peeing on something you shouldn't. Heh, bet you forgot about him doing that didn't you? .... Till next time and next episode.)

















And now for something you'll really enjoy!


When last we left our heroes (the three beautiful woman of Hoiku no Fuben), they had the Pottsylvania Creep surrounded. The evidence of his last dastardly deed was blazoned upon his neck... and dampened upon someone's jeans. Would he be mangled? Punched? Blown up to smitherines? Or would his luck turn around as the questions roared in!


Make sure to tune in this week for “One girl, three many” or... “An Anime, it's not!”



Hoiku no Fuben


By: CS Fox



EP 6: Chiyo Reads the Writing on the Wall



Janelle walked in on quite a disturbing scene. It took a lot to surprise her at daycare these days. There was one time where she found an entire macaroni art masterpiece stuck on the ceiling with no reasonable explanation as to how or why... and today... Today, she took pause as she walked by the infant room.


Picture this:


Jordan had Jake by the front of his shirt, with a hand cocked back...


Evelyn was tugging at Jordan's hand and preventing a face-mashing...


Chiyo had somehow managed to wrap both of her arms around Jake's legs and was unintentionally immobilizing him. (And making him a better target for Jordan)


What Janelle wanted to say was something along the lines of “Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!” but instead she let out a purposeful cough “Eh hemmm...”


The three girls and meat puppet looked up at the vixen.


“I hope there's no fighting in the daycare. I don't want to put my assistant caretakers in time out,” Janelle said in the exact same tone she used for just about every situation at daycare that tried to surprise her. If godzilla and mothra threw down at daycare, she'd talk to them the same.


There was quiet for a moment. The only noise to be heard was outside the window where half a dozen small faces began placing bets on the newcomer to the foray. Jordan had knuckle, Janelle had experience.


“We need to talk to Jake,” Evelyn said to Janelle after a moment. “It's a bit... personal...” she added as she had to physically pull Chiyo off of him.


Chiyo made to grab at Jake's legs again. “Chiyo wannapologize! Nyah, leave Chiyo to apologize!”


Jordan laughed softly, pounding one fist into another, “Yah... I want to MAKE him apologize.”


“Riiiight...” Janelle sighed. She walked up and calmly scooted everyone away from each other like she was breaking up the toddlers in a 'hey, that's mine' fit. “Don't make me quote the rules about fighting...” she said moving Jordan aside, “Or the rules about personal space” she added separating Chiyo... She stopped at Evelyn. “I don't know what's going on, but please allow me a moment to speak with my ever-so-popular little brother.”


The girl's didn't know what to say, but they didn't stop the vixen as she grabbed Jake by the shirt collar and marched him out of the room.


“They're... related?” Chiyo asked confused as they left. Jordan rolled her eyes.


In the kitchen, Janelle pushed Jake into a seat at the kids table. “Do I want to know what this is about?” Janelle asked.


Jake shook his head, no.


“Jake... I've known you since you were an ankle biter. Trouble is your sir name."


"I swear I didn't do anything! Stop with the big sister act, today's already weird enough."


"Despite what you think, this is one of those 'little brother needs to listen to his wiser, older sister' times."


Jake sighed.


"I'll let you in on something mother vixen told me when I was a little kit. 'The hungry fox who chases after three hens at one time... oft goes hungry."


“Huh?”

Janelle just shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder if you aren't some part fox... Well, I'll make it simple. Be nice to the girls. I'm not going to save you if you get ganged up on again.” (File this under 'obvious foreshadowing).


“Wait... you're going to leave me to the wolves?”


“Last I checked, there are only two humans and a half-cat out there... No wolves.”


Jake sighed and Janelle shook her head good naturedly as he left. She knew the poor boy had no idea what he was getting in to. Oh well, she tried. Time to watch the train go off the tracks.


The girls were sitting in a circle, and they all looked up at Jake as he came into the room. He made his approach a bit carefully, not sure he wasn't a lamb coming to slaughter.


Outside the window, betting continued with Jordan favored 4:1 for a knockout inside ten minutes.


“Truce?” Jake asked Jordan. She didn't smile, but she nodded slowly. He looked to Evelyn who returned his gaze shyly... and kept a firm hand on Chiyo's tail as she looked ready to pounce. Jake slowly took a seat. “All right then, lets talk about this... Chiyo, Evelyn... you're having accidents, and you think its my fault?”


Evelyn nodded. “They started after... after we kissed.”


“Are you having any problems like ... this... Jordan?”


“Dream on Jake.”


“Right... well um...”


“I'm sooooorrrrrryyyyy!!!” Chiyo blurted. She was tugging at her own tail, trying to free it from Evelyn. She wanted to offer the customary 'I'm sorry' hug.


Jake scooted a little further from Chiyo as a precaution. “It's all right Chiyo... no need to apologize...”


Chiyo quickly turned to Evelyn. “And I'm sorry for doing stuff with your boyfriend! I couldn't help it.” she added throwing her arms around Evelyn, who only had time to meep in surprise.


“He's not really my boyfriend,” Evelyn blushed, noticing an odd look from Jordan.


Jake sighed, not sure he was relieved or sad. “What do you want me to do about this problem?”


Evelyn tried to separate herself from Chiyo. “We just wanted to know if you knew why? It's a bit much for a coincidence.”


Something tugged at Jake's awareness... as if for some reason he had an idea what it was happening... but at the same time, logic and possible embarrassment dismissed the thought. He shook his head no.


“GO JAKE!” came a cheer from outside. “Win their hearts Casanova!”


The four of them looked to the window. Nearly the entire daycare was out there watching... even Janelle was lined up with the smaller heads. She smiled and waved a paw cheerily. Chiyo waved back enthusiastically, till she caught some glares from the others.


“Right... privacy ended,” Jordan said standing up. “Sarah? Are you around somewhere?” she called as she walked off. The whole stupid reason she'd come to daycare today was to ask about a job... not to be spied on and witness to Jake's love quarrels.


There were some muted awwws as somoene lost a bet outside the window.


“Show's over!” Evelyn said frowning at the window. “Buncha little busy bodies!” she nearly stumbled as she found Chiyo still attached to her leg.


“Chiyo sorry for kiss-licking your boyfriend.”


Evelyn only blushed more. “Chiyo, stop it... I already told you, he's not my boyfriend.”


“CHIYO'S SORRY SHE SWALLOWED!”


“I'm not...” Jake mumbled quietly... although he didn't realize that Jordan was right behind him, having not located his mother.


“That's it Jake! Your ass is grass and I've got a five fingered lawn mower,” Jordan said cracking her knuckles.


After a loud thud, there was cheering outside the window. A bet was won after all.



AUTHOR NOTES AND STUFFS


These are some jumbled notes, but the author finds them helpful. So far, Evelyn and Chiyo are having wetting problems. Jordan and Jake have mixed emotions on just about all fronts and Janelle and the twins are happily watching the whole thing from afar and finding it very interesting.


Also of note... Although Jordan drinks a lot, she is not an alcoholic. She is just Irish Catholic and drinks like... well... an Irish Catholic. The violence on Jake is simply a means of affection and funny plot device. Animes (which this story is nothing like) use them all the time.


TOO MANY CHARACTERS CAN BE CONFUSING!



Anyone who has ever played sports knows the feeling of "being in the zone." It's when you have one of those transcendental games, where everything works, when you see the entire court, you are three steps ahead of everyone else, the game slows down while you keep going at full speed, everything you throw up goes in, and when you miss, the rebound comes right back at you.


Jordan was in the zone.


Today was her first official day at the daycare and she'd already changed two diapers, broken up a scuffle, read a children's book to a captive audience and found an apt pupil for Judo. After another 'misunderstanding' with Jake, Jordan took him to the floor displaying a classic hip throw and Marvin had been enamored with her since. It was a great job for her. She'd finally crawled out of her slump.


Chiyo on the other hand... was not doing so great. After the whole incident with her estrus, her best friend Evelyn had been upset with her... which was understandable in her opinion. The funk that Jordan had just shrugged off, was now hers to wear on her shoulders.


The twins caught Chiyo as she was exiting the bathroom. They knew what she was wearing now... and they had seen her sneak another one from Evelyn's bag just a moment ago.


“Everything all right Chiyo?” Jamie-Chris asked as she approached Chiyo with her brother Jamie-Ross.


Chiyo meeped a little and spun around to face the twins. She didn't realize anyone was behind her. “Fah fine...” she said.


“Did you make it in time?” JR asked.


“Make what in time nyah?”


“To the bathroom.” JC replied.


Chiyo immediately blushed and started to walk away from them. “I'm fine nyah, leave me alone.”


The twins grinned and winked at each other. The hunt was on, like any good predators, they could see the limp of a hurt animal from miles away.


“Hey Chiyo, wait up!” the twins called after her. “You haven't climbed the tree with us this week.”


“I'm busy!” she called back.


“Can you help us with something then? You're supposed to help kids as a day care attendant right?”


Chiyo stopped walking away, and her ears dropped a little. She was caught. She hesitantly looked around for Evelyn, Jordan or Jake, but they were probably busy somewhere else in the daycare.


“How... how can nyah help you?” she mewled out, obviously a little uncomfortable.


“Can you write your name here?” JC asked as she looked over the potty chart next to the bathroom. It had the various children's names who were currently trying to potty train at Autumn Leaves.


Chiyo was stunned. “Nnnnnnnnnnn no. NO! Nyah! Why would I?”


JC and JR looked at each other and shook their heads. JR made a show of pulling his pants out a little and snapping the waistband of his spiderman underwear. “I'm wearing undies.”


JC grinned and nodded her head. “Me too! What are you wearing Chiyo?”


Chiyo's ears were out flat, her tail tucked between her legs. “Umm... ... that's nyah really any of your business.”


“You're in pull-ups right?” asked JR.


“Like the toddlers on the potty board!” JC smiled.


Chiyo's mind was working fast to try and beat their logic, she could already see the trap closing. “I... I'm... having a little bit of a problem...” she admitted with a blush. “So is Evelyn,” she added, trying to make herself feel better.


“We know!” the twins said in unison. “And Janelle always says that sometimes you have to take a step back before you can take two steps forward... so we both think you should be on the potty board. To uh... set an example.”


Chiyo's eyes were practically spinning around in her head. A little poof of smoke came out of both her ears as her brain overheated and shut down. The tag team of synchronized voices, the potty logic... she was done.


Like a cat-girl zombie, Chiyo took the pen attached to the board by string. She wasn't looking at it, she wasn't actually looking at anything... she somehow willed her arm to scrawl her name on an open line. The twins bumped fists while she was writing.


“Don't forget Evelyn's name too,” they added in perfect sync.


Chiyo blindly scrawled her friend's name, before staggering off in a haze. Fist's bumped again.


Outside in the back yard, Evelyn and Jordan were trying to keep a messy art experiment under control. Adam, Curt, Chance, Roxy and Marvin were elbow deep in finger painting.


“Dun!” Chance said, his tail wagging and thumping against the bench. He hadn't painted anything, so much as dip his paws in the reds and blues and made paw prints across the paper.


“Looks great champ!” Jordan said leaning over his shoulder to take a peak. Chance barked happily and turned to give Jordan a big hug... which she narrowly avoided.


The first rule about puppies of the fursona type... is that you don't run away from them with a smile. It sets up an impromptu game that you will likely not win. Like all puppies, Chance has an unlimited supply of chasing-stuff-energy. It's too complex to get into, so just believe there's a special type of fission that occurs with puppies, sugar and pre-school metabolisms.


“No... NO! Chance, keep your paws off my jeans!”


Chance jumped off the bench and immediately gave chase to Jordan with painted paws. Evelyn sighed, but smiled as the two ran off. She did her best to put Chance's 'art' aside and clean up as the others finished their work.


“Evie!” Curt suddenly exclaimed.


Hearing him talk was a rarity. “What is it Curt?” she asked looking over at the toddler. He was standing with painted fingers out and his knees crossed in a tell tale little dance. Evelyn's eyes went wide. “Marvin, you're in charge for a moment, we'll be right back!”


“Where yah going?” Marvin called after Evelyn, not sure what had just happened.


“To fight a potty monster!”


Curt was surprisingly fast when he wanted to be. Evelyn caught up with him outside the bathroom to find him doing the same potty dance. The door opened a second later and Jordan walked Chance out drying his paws.


“That was a nice try pup... but do that again and I'll tie your tail in a knot... capeesh?”


Chance grinned and nodded. Jordan couldn't see the red and blue paw prints on her butt. He waved at Curt as the other toddler rushed into the bathroom with Evelyn in tow.


“Let's do this!” Evelyn said pushing up her glasses and trying to be serious. Curt looked at her frantically, wanting his overalls off, but not wanting to use his paint hands to undo the straps. Evelyn nodded in understanding and helped him undress to sit upon the plastic seat. With a resounding success, Curt made it to the bathroom in time... and Evelyn couldn't help humming the potty song that Chiyo usually sang on such occasions. Curt had managed to kick his fear of the potty monster... no thanks to the twins.


As Curt was finishing his business, Evelyn began to blush as she suddenly realized that her 'under garment' was a bit wet. It must have happened while she was helping outside with the painting. ... it didn't make her feel any better that a three year old had just successfully made it to the bathroom... and she hadn't.


“All right.. lets get you up so we can wash the paint off your hands,” she said with a lot less enthusiasm.


After Curt's hands were washed and his underwear and overalls re-secured, the two of them left the bathroom. Evelyn's mind was focused on the extra pull-ups she had in her bag, but before she could get to it, Curt tugged at her shirt. She looked down at the toddler who was tugging with one hand and pointing at the potty chart with the other.


“Oh right... well, lets mark your success,” she said, feeling like a little salt had been rubbed in. She took the pen and made a little star next to his name... and then stopped and frowned as she noticed the two new names at the bottom. “Evelan...” she growled. Not only did someone have the gall to put her name on the potty chart, they spelt it wrong.


She left Curt scratching his head and stormed off to grab another pull-up.



SNACK ATTACK!


We interrupt this episode to bring you vital information for your every day life. You will need the following... 1) a bottle of gatoraide (screw cap type, not nipple type). 2) handful of gummi-bears. 3) Teaspoon of grenadine.


Mix all in same bottle. Give to nearest cat-girl. RUN. Count ten... see if carpet isn't clawed up.


OHM NOM NOM




“Chiyo... why is your name and my name on the potty training board?”


Chiyo was currently seated on the floor playing with William and Adam. “I'm setting nyah example,” she said hesitantly. Both boys looked at her curiously and immediately ran off to check the board.


Evelyn raised an eyebrow, not caring about the boys. “What?”


Chiyo's ears lowered. “...We're... having accidents nyah... and... in pull-ups... how are we different then the toddlers?”


Evelyn opened her mouth to speak, but then shut it. Was this really the case? Was she... potty training right now? HER?! A pre-med student?? She got dizzy on her feet and fell to her knees. Chiyo mewed and scooted a little closer.


“You okays?”


“I... I just don't believe it.”


“Don't believe what?” asked Jordan as she came in from the back with Marvin.


“Our names are on the potty training board...”


Jordan stifled back a laugh. “Well... umm... hope that goes well for you then.”


“I gotta see this,” Marvin said as he ran by her to check the board.


Seeing the faces that Chiyo and Evelyn were making, Jordan sat down with them. “You two are way too stressed... maybe that's all this is? You're both under sooo much stress that its causing accidents?”


Evelyn had considered that plenty of times before, especially when she started bedwetting... but this seemed too extreme for just stress. She frowned, but smirked a little as she saw Jordan shift positions. “You know you have paw prints on your ass Jordan?”


Jordan spun around and growled a little as she saw the dried red and blue paw prints. “That little runt!!”


Chiyo suddenly sat up straight and pounded her fist into her open palm. “I've got it!”


Both Jordan and Evelyn looked at her surprised.


“We need to go on a vacation.”


“Vacation?” Evelyn asked.


Chiyo nodded. “Just for the weekend. My family owns a small hot springs inn. It's about six hours away.”


Jordan's eyes lit up. A hot spring would be perfect for her bruised wrist. “That sounds... AWESOME!”


Evelyn cheered up too. “Really? We... could go?”


Chiyo grinned enthusiastically. “Momma would love company! She's been calling for me to come home and visit.”